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Lady Gaga strode down the red carpet in a

  • Lady Gaga strode down the red carpet in a dress made entirely of live babies clinging to her pale, nude body. Little did she know.

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  • Madonna had strode down the carpet before her wearing the same dress.Even the babies were identical twins with those in Lady Gaga's dress. The ensuing catfight became a baby brawl

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  • in which Lady Gaga did a lot of "googoogaga-ing." And, eager to make a contribution to this American pop culture excesspool, Kesha went ape-slut in an incident involving apes and

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  • an unlimited supply of Red Bull. In a strange blur of sweat and cash-bar manipulation, Kesha managed to fornicate deeply with a large number of

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  • crimson bovines, to which Kesha could never compare the experience. Only vague terminology sufficed her unending praises. The bulls stampeded the illegitimate China shops, while

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  • Lisa Simpson had a cow. She'd just found out that Kesha and Jessica Simspon were BFFs and that she, Lisa, and Jessica were distantly related. "Bull," said Bart.

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  • "Everyone's distantly related if you push it." But Lisa Simpson wouldn't take that from him. She really believed that she had the blood of superstars.

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  • Apparently the cops did too, as they examined Lisa's room and took DNA traces of all the various blood splatters in there. "Michael Jordan, Billy Crystal, Kim Kardashian... what th

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  • e funk?!" cried the funky police officer. "That's it, honey, you under arres-."

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  • ted the development of my disco slide. Now move over and get funky with me.

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