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Brc Sprngstn wld sng 2 th Prsdnt 2 hlp dctv8 th bmb bt Brc sng wtht ny vwls. Th Prsdnt wld nd 2 thnk qckly 2 fnd nthr sltn 2 th bmb. Hlp cm frm

and so forth. I write like this because I HATE VOWELS!

"YOU!" the teacher pointed at me. "to Principal Hootie's office immediately." I pretended to hang my head as I left the classroom, but secretly I was delighed to go to Principal

Hootie's office, he was a country singer now. I loved me some old-fashioned country. "Ohhh, a warm summer school evening, on a train bound for delinquency..." He sure has a way

with chainsaws, I thought, as I watched Country Hootie's combination singing and juggling act. He could sing all the classics while juggling an amazing variety of objects: knives,

phone books, bowling balls, and small children. He would strum "Oh Suzzanah" on a banjo every third toss. I had to be Hootie's manager. I take his juggling act on the road with

the boy with a thorn in his side who had a murderous desire for love. Hootie did his banjo juggling thing while I drove and the boy moaned sometimes. Next stop was a bull ring on

par with our past venues. Moaning Boy, Hootie the Banjo-Juggler, and I found a dingy tent near the bull-ring where we were allowed to set up our equipment. For no extra charge, we