"Here I am." He said with wonder in his voice

"Here I am." He said with wonder in his voice "The end of my rope, yet i've never felt better." He took a few more steps towards his fate "i've waited so long for this, so long...

The loud deisel engine of the wood chipper turns.

The man in the dark down jacket hoped the buzzing and grinding would all be over soon. Normally, birch was all bark but no bite, but what a birch this was!

It was gnarly, it was hard, the wood whorled like mahogany. A most unusual Birch. It would make a fine coffeetable, but then his saw hit something adamantane, it stuttered and

ground to a halt. Whatever his saw had struck, it was incredibly solid. He peered through the gash in the tree and saw the object gleaming before his eyes. He had never seen

a diamond the size and shape of a screech owl before. Weirder still, it began to screech. He grabbed it and stowed it away in his lumberjack shirt before the others could see

. The diamond shaped screech owl took this as a strange mating ritual. Hidden in the lumberjack's shirt it began to peck at his nipple and do unmentionable things to his side. He h

...a Paul Bunyan of a man...all right, I...I know that's a cliché, but it's the story direction that matters here...he was only 17 and she, with those round glasses, was 27...and

she reminded him of Babe the Blue Ox. Bestiality is extremely abnormal, but he couldn't deny the fact that he loved her...after the wedding, he planned on seeing a psychiatrist.