Well, I don't feel like going into it but

Well, I don't feel like going into it but if you really must know, it happened on one of those kind of Mondays when you have to drag yourself out of bed. The alarm clock

was set to Hard Rock 97. Before I could hit the snooze, Anthrax hit me with "I am the Man" at ear shattering decibles. The roof of my mouth was breeding lichen. Mondays are God's

lunch. I was not developing a liking for lichen; this stuff must be genetically modified. It grew almost as fast as I could scrub it off my teeth. Green teeth didn't improve my

chances with Ms. Piggy. She hated the color green. But I pestered her and pestered her. But I was not able to crack that nut until I started managing the Muppet Show, then

just a third class display not even worth the crappiest theater. Once I'd gotten rid of George the janitor, the Muppets finally got on a rise. And that's when Ms Piggy became inter

red in a Viet Cong prison. Kermit was adamant about busting her out, but Rolf was unhappy at the prospect of being traded for Ms. Piggy as a hostage. Animal teabagged the villagers

and, well, it all became too much for Kermit.He escaped Viet Cong leaving both Rolf and Miss Piggy behind and rejoined the cast of Sesame Street, where he moved in with Oscar

the Grouch who was a raging alcoholic. Kermit had served with Oscar in Vietnam and felt he needed to help Oscar get out of his negative habits and transform his life. Sesame Street

, the nickname for the block of halfway homes and rehab centers for muppets, it's alleys and tenements became their new home where Oscar slowly dried out. Sweepin' the clouds away.