I am a prosperous, despicable, two-faced,

I am a prosperous, despicable, two-faced, incompetent, ill-mannered, mindless, callous, miserable, corpulent, blustering, erectile-dysfunctioned, man and I would like your vote!

A few things weren't going a few people's way so they collectively said 'what the hay' and elected the flawed man. Protests erupted on day 1 when the flawed man cut off all funding

Not only that, the protesters carried handmade signs that read: "Free the Balloon Animals", "Balloons Have Feelings Too", "Balloon Is The New Black" and

"Don't Pop the Balloon". It was a sight to see - thousands of colourful balloon animals swarming the streets, holding pickets, pitchforks and burning torches. They screamed for

justice, but nobody listened, or so he thought. But then the man with the orange face appeared and told the mob to disperse. "Balloon Animals Matter!" cried the man.

"There will be no more balloon animal zoos or circuses. They deserve to be free!" And so all the balloon animals were shipped to a special preserve where they were

protected against anything sharp that might threaten to pop their latex hides. The whole balloon animal zoo was completely rounded. Visitors were thoroughly searched for pointed

sharp objects. Gatekeepers gathered an odd assortment of forbidden items at the balloon animal zoo entrance. Sophie stowed her knitting needles though. She had to finish

the job. This had gone on long enough! Once inside, she completely unraveled & within minutes it was finished. Latex carnage everywhere. It was the end of Sophie 's yarn.