I discovered a loophole in the rules of polite
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I discovered a loophole in the rules of polite society & started using a laptop bag as a manpurse. Trouble was, I could never find anything in there. One time at Victor's Surprise
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I was checking out the new fall line of lacy thongs, when I felt someone come up behind me. "Nice bag," the low rough voice said. I whipped around, my manpurse slapping against his
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manpurse, becoming entwined. I bent down & my long raven hair got entangled with our manpurses. He got out some shears, sliced off my hair at the neck & breathed in its heady perf
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ectly balanced mix of bleach, head & shoulders & grecian formula aroma. Our eyes met, actually the mascara of our fake lashes got stuck together. I unzipped my neoprene manpurse
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& slid a hand in slowly. I pulled out a sleek black case. I pried open the lid and whipped out my Nikon. "Mind if I take your picture? You have the most exquisite looking
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business card. Is that ivory stock?" She smiled, "I have them specially embossed." I took another picture with my cell. "It so rare to find such quality." Now, my collection was
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really boring. It involved card stock. Embossings. Maybe a little gold leaf to really whip up the zanies. The collection could put a meth head to sleep, that's how boring it was.
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But then, inspiration. I made a lengthwise crease down the center of an embossed sheet. Paper airplane, bitches. I folded two (2) corners to the center, titillating the clientele
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until Mr. Anderson whipped out his drone, the DJ1 S1000 Octacopter, complete with an ultra HD video camera. In an instant, I lost them all. My paper airplane went up in flames.
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Little did Mr. Anderson know, that I had planted a bomb under his chair. I walked away into the sunset as his building went up in a ball of fire.
7
- Started
- 2013-11-14 01:41:30
- Finished
- 2015-09-12 12:59:33
9 Comments
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jpcreepy Sep 12 2015 @ 13:03
This story was epic. It had explosions, thongs, paper airplanes, and uncomfortable touches.
m80 Sep 19 2015 @ 15:13
I second that. Moral End's description of the most boring thing ever, and buddyboy's "Paper airplane, bitches" - lol
49erFaithful Sep 20 2015 @ 02:04
It's the true stories like these that tend to resonate best. Well feld, indeed.
lucielucie Sep 27 2015 @ 06:08
So what do you keep in your man purse 49er.?
49erFaithful Sep 28 2015 @ 14:37
Oh it's mostly paper files for work. My shades, some gum, a thumb drive, Advil. I suppose I could get a briefcase but why when I've got a handy man purse?
Shudas Sep 30 2015 @ 15:52
Very nice story
lucielucie Oct 02 2015 @ 15:34
Thanks for sharing 49er
49erFaithful Oct 02 2015 @ 16:22
No problem. Of course I was being a bit toungue in cheek about the true story. The laptop bag/ manpurse is real enough. The rest, well...
SlimWhitman Oct 02 2015 @ 17:41
Oh sure... "All characters are fictitious. Any similarities to actual events or persons is purely..." http://foldingstory.com/fdwn0/