Deadly quiet, the gang of graffiti vandals
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Deadly quiet, the gang of graffiti vandals hopped the outer fence and crept down the compound. Their intended target, a massive roadside billboard facing the westbound interstate,
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was normally watched by security cameras, but tonight was different. There was a power outage, and the vandals knew they could replace the billboard's message with their own
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. They tagged the sign in big red letters, "Doctor Who has a posse!" The increase in geek misdemeanors was a blight on Silicon Valley. Roving gangs of Segwayers would speed
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past the desert turtles, giggle snorting as they made rude jokes with reference to obscure science fiction graphic novels at pedestrians. Sweat shone from their pasty faces
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which is why fat people should have to wear deodorant on their entire body. Why do fat people like science fiction? They dream about being planets! Why are fat people
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always experts on dieting? I had a fat cousin named Vickie. She actually claimed to have invented the bacon burger. She went to Bunk's where they
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deep fried bacon in bacon grease and layered it around a solid brick of bacon. All of this was served on a bed of bacon, topped with a light serving of bacon crumbs, set alight by
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my bacon grease powered lighter. I smiled broadly at the vegan hippie boyfriend of my little Trixie through the flames. "You want to marry her? Fine. Then eat this."
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I passed the slightly undercooked squirrel-on-a-stick to my daughter's vegan boyfriend. Now we'd really see how bad he wanted to marry Trixie. He was about to bite down when the
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daughter we had raised slapped the squirrel out of his hands. "You're nothing but a weak-willed, unprincipled people-pleaser. Now get lost." Made me proud, she did.
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- Started
- 2011-05-03 17:45:04
- Finished
- 2011-07-11 19:44:59
2 Comments
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Chaz Jul 12 2011 @ 07:17
Correction: Doctor Who is a statement as in "Doctor Who?" The character is just "The Doctor." Apologies to Tom Baker and the rest.
SlimWhitman Jul 12 2011 @ 07:47
You clearly don't belong to the Posse. ;-)