It takes a great deal of endurance to be

It takes a great deal of endurance to be employed by a Boss Monster. To be a receptionist taking calls and arranging appointments for heroes to take a crack at him.

big, spectacular superhero fights had to be scheduled months in advance, to give City Hall time to prepare and take the necessary precautions. Being major of Metropolis meant

lots of marching and twirling a baton. The Drum Major of Metropolis really hated Superman. I mean, the Drum Major had to acquire his skill, he wasn't born with it like Superdope.

All the girls just "loved" Superman, while HE could barely get a date. He thought the ladies would fall all over him in his Drum Major uniform but they mostly just pointed at hi

fidelity stereo systems and made cooing noises. "Maybe they will love me in a Hi Fidelity Stereo System uniform," he hypothesized. "But how can I be certain without actually

owning one." He sadly laid out the materials for a Hi Fidelity Stereo System uniform & went to bed. In the night tiny elves cut & sewed & made the uniform for him! Trembling, he

pulled the subwoofer bra over his man tities and shimied into the tweeter lined bikini briefs. He slipped a tape with Good Vibrations into the player strapped to his

butt. He firmly attached the trumpet to his left arm, the tambourine to his left leg, a vuvuzela to the right arm, and a djembe to the right leg. He was ready for Monday.

I found him propped up against a brick wall with his musical instruments still strapped on, frozen to death. A terrible ending to this story, but ya know...life ain't always fair.