He'd had a crush on her since they started

He'd had a crush on her since they started opening together. He'd get there early in his pickle green VW bus. She in her "Integra." 5 am was not too early for love, at Starbucks

. She was beautiful in her Starbucks apron with bedhead hair and wrinkled clothes. His crush could turn to love, except--her 5am breath made it hard to work anywhere near her.

Just then, Majela Zeze Diamond, a frequent customer, came in. "Hey Majela Queen of V4gina, how are you today?" Majela ran back out the door with her wobbly bottom, gasping for air.

She was knocked on her back when she bumped into Her Majesty Queen of V8gina, a voluptuous health nut. "Have you know decency, V4?" asked V8. The brown-nosing V7's nodded and

followed her around like ladies in waiting. "Yes, I know decency," answer V4, "and you know none." V8 stumbled back in shock. "I am utterly appalled! No one speaks to me with such

insolence especially a four cyllinder engine with an unshared crankpin." V8 lorded it over the other engines in the garage. V4 wasn't part of the "in" clique. The rotary engine

which overcompensated her body's angle to the ground. She'd need a V-4 to fix the damages, but that was how she went through life: not with a right-angle to the ground. Tomato

Man introduced her to his shy friend, Mister Celery, who was maybe not the most exciting guy, but a fine -- "I'm not into Mister Nice Guys!" she declared, revving her chainsaw

Two hours later, a lovely pot of vegetable soup was simmering on her stove. Nothin' like piping hot soup on a cold winter's night. Mmmmmm.... Come and get some!