Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside

Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings.

If you bottle your feelings you can later sell them as an essential oil. The perfume industry will pay good money for bottled feelings. I once found a piece of whale

with explosives. I packed TNT, uranium, black cat firecrackers, gas pellets, sparklers, blasting caps, nitro-gel, claymores and baking soda into my bags. No one would pity me

because my lesbian lover wouldn't let me out the house and I had the time on my hands to bid for high explosives on ebay. God I loved her but she treated me bad.

Anyway, there I was in possession of 50 pounds of C-4, drum after drum of fertilizer and kerosene, and nothing to do on a Friday night. My Lesbian Lover® was safely stowed in her

tote after I deflated her & rolled her up. I always felt that a Lake would be a fine thing to have on this stretch of river so I packed the C-4 and fertilizer together & lit a fuse

. I chucked the homemade bomb into the river but it was an extra long fuse so I got bored while I waited and decided to inflate my travelling companion again. When she was fully

inflated her volume rivaled that of the Hindenburg. I tethered her to the bumper, and she swooshed about in the breeze. The bomb detonated, freeing the coffin from the riverbed and

inadvertently blowing up the planet. "Oops, guess I used a little too much Tabasco," I said sheepishly.