"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk

"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk funny." "Yes you do! Just now when you walked over to the kitchen, I heard laughter coming from your shorts." "Oh that. That's just my

pocket pet Eddie." "A pocket pet?" "Yeah. He's a sugar glider so he chatters a lot and giggles at just about anything, " I noted, as I pulled him from my back pocket. He chirped

& started quoting Bukowski. "I'll give you 50 for it" "No, sorry, Little Eddie the sugarglider isnt 4 sale" As Eddie started spouting off more Barfly, I decided to stick him in a

a cage with the polar bears. I thought Eddie the sugar glider would make friends and maybe even share some coke. However the polar bears had different ideas in mind that weren't so

uspicious when the pet shop assistant said that it was a black polar bear. "Isn't that just a black bear?" I asked. "Now there's where you're making your mistake," she laughed.

"This is a mutant polar bear. Ever since the oil prospecting &melting of the arctic ice cap there's tremendous selective pressure for a dark coat. You want him? He's potty trained.

Just watch." The black polar bear moseyed over to the row of port-a-potties, then hesitated, looking over his shoulder at us. Perhaps global warming and my need of a polar bear

urged him to want to urinate sitting down, on a seat, with a Nation Geographic Magazine to wipe himself. But, unfortunately, every port-a-potty was occupied, so the black polar

had no choice but to go in the sea. "Rraar!" He said as he slipped into the ice cold water. "I haven't done this since I was a cub."