"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk

"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk funny." "Yes you do! Just now when you walked over to the kitchen, I heard laughter coming from your shorts." "Oh that. That's just my

pocket pet Eddie." "A pocket pet?" "Yeah. He's a sugar glider so he chatters a lot and giggles at just about anything, " I noted, as I pulled him from my back pocket. He chirped

& started quoting Bukowski. "I'll give you 50 for it" "No, sorry, Little Eddie the sugarglider isnt 4 sale" As Eddie started spouting off more Barfly, I decided to stick him in a

a cage with the polar bears. I thought Eddie the sugar glider would make friends and maybe even share some coke. However the polar bears had different ideas in mind that weren't so

against a little blood and viscera. Quite the contrary polar bears love violence. They were built for it. God made their coat white to show the blood more. So, Eddie was a little s

uspicious when the pet shop assistant said that it was a black polar bear. "Isn't that just a black bear?" I asked. "Now there's where you're making your mistake," she laughed.

"This is a mutant polar bear. Ever since the oil prospecting &melting of the arctic ice cap there's tremendous selective pressure for a dark coat. You want him? He's potty trained.

Just watch." The black polar bear moseyed over to the row of port-a-potties, then hesitated, looking over his shoulder at us. Perhaps global warming and my need of a polar bear

urged him to want to urinate sitting down, on a seat, with a Nation Geographic Magazine to wipe himself. But, unfortunately, every port-a-potty was occupied, so the black polar