once there was a monster in my closet. he

once there was a monster in my closet. he was big and hairy. so hairy I

felt a strong moral obligation to shave the creature bald, collect the resulting clippings and dontate them to Locks of Love. Ethics be darned, this was for the greater good.

I narrowed my eyes, scoping out how I might gain the upper hand, the whole time wondering if someone would actually *want* the hair off of this thing hanging from their own head.

I was just too damn fabulous for this slop. I grabbed by ionizer and brush, "You call this hair? This ain't hair, honey. This is crap!" I threw the extensions against the wall

& kicked over the hot rollers. All the anger I'd ever harbored against stylists erupted right then & there. I smashed all the mirrors, threatened Fabio with a red hot curling iron,

which made Fabio think I was flirting with him, making me even angrier. With a can of hairspray and a flick of my lighter, I blowtorched the gossip mags and hair extensions

The salon was in flames around him but Fabio continued chatting to his client about holidays - what a pro! I at last calmed down & agreed to the Wrecked Strawberry rinse he'd recom

bined with the DNA of fetal pigs. It was heavenly as Fabio rubbed the fruity rinse into my

then i orgasmed.