Dear Cosmo, I've got a friend, a really good
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Dear Cosmo, I've got a friend, a really good friend and I've just discovered that my friend has got another friend. What should I do?
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Dr Cosmo sat back, pretending to care about this statement I just made. Finally the good doctor broke silence and gave her verdict; Quit lying. You have no friends, she said.
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It was a stunning observation; it was indisputably true. As a toaster oven, the notion of "friend' is impossible. The best one can hope for is "responsible owner". Dr Cosmo closed
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his eyes, recalling the strange but exhilarating relationship he'd once had with a refrigerator. Oh, she was a cool one. Dr. Cosmo opened one eye and reconsidered the toaster oven.
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If the door had not opened then David would have kept talking to fucking appliances all night long. His girlfriend Nicole interrupted the psychosis of 4 days without sleep brings
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with a haldol injection. Slowly the appliances stopped copulating. "You've ruined my appliance breeding experiments!" wailed David, still slightly delusional. Nicole said, "Sexual
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projection. The appliances aren't having sex. You're not taking your meds." "Don't listen to her" said David addressing the love seat, draped on her bulbous Up 5 chair.
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"That's right, Angie, I'm not taking my meds and I can see clearly now. And get your dogman David off our furniture! Who are we but appliances having sex in a kitchen we cannot per
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perceive clearly? No, I tell you. We are above the rough and tumble of this world and it's our duty to handle things efficiently." With those words ringing in her ears Angie
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decided to flat out disregard everything and go to bed.
4
- Started
- 2013-04-21 13:02:16
- Finished
- 2015-03-17 13:50:55
2 Comments
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lucielucie Mar 21 2015 @ 13:10
"Who are we but appliances having sex in a kitchen we cannot perceive clearly?" Sometimes stuff on this site makes me think...
Benwicky Mar 21 2015 @ 17:37
and if we can combine thinking with smiling all the better.