Back in high school the smokers were called

  • Back in high school the smokers were called "grits" and most excelled in classes like "shop" where they tuned their cars, but Phil was different. He played D&D and built computers

  • and sometimes, if he felt like it, wrote fan fiction for Star Wars. Yes, Phil was not like the other grits in high school. But in four years, they would all be sorry they picked on

  • the boy in the third row next to Phil because that boy joined the maffia. But Phil had the soul of wonderbread, light and could be squished into a square. Highschool was

  • also shaped like a square, so Phil fitted in quite well. The Mafia boy, Vito, was altogether rounder, and thus was regarded as something of an outcast. But Vito plotted revenge:

  • He would take a dump on the don's car. This was why I hated criminals and revenge. It was always so peurile. Always so crude. Always so boorish. So infantile. So...

  • ap. Yes, soap. That wold be the only cure for the "mess" he left on the don's car. It wouldnot compare to the mess

  • Sheila had made of his heart when she took his puppy and left, but it would still piss of his professor, and if he wanted a First he knew he had to start scrubbing. Soon the car

  • was spotlessly clean, but there was a stain on his heart that could never be erased. He threw down the sponge and collapsed to the floor in tears. "Sheila...professor...why?"

  • "It is not your place to ask that question," the professor replied. "It's mine.You tell me: WHY do you believe this tragedy happened?" He looked up, tears still streaming. "I...I..

  • the pain of human existence?" "No, no!" said the professor. "It is because it is... your BIRTHDAY! SURPRISE!" And there was cake and ice cream and balloons and no more tragedy.



  1. Spacey Sep 28 2013 @ 15:52

    And his present is that he gets his puppy back?

  2. PurpleProf Sep 29 2013 @ 10:25

    YES, he definitely gets his puppy back, as well as a square birthday cake.

  3. Spacey Nov 27 2013 @ 16:07

    I did a dramatic reading of this: http://www.mediafire.com/listen/uutofscia60fakb/Grits.mp3 You're all welcome to try and identify my accent.

  4. KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 16:38

    Unfortunately, your file seems to be breaking right around 3 seconds in - I hear "Back in high school, the smokers were called grit--", and then it stalls and eventually says my browser can't play the file. Perhaps there's some corruption going on? And I refuse to install that stupid "ZipDownloader" program to download and play the file locally. Perhaps we need a better sharing service than MediaFire? My virus scanner at home warned me that the site has been reported for trojans in the past.

  5. Spacey Nov 27 2013 @ 16:52

    That's odd. Mine works after a few refreshes, but I did get the error message about my browser not being able to play the file the first few times around. I'm open to suggestions for audio-streaming sites that are better than Mediafire if anyone has any.

  6. lucielucie Nov 28 2013 @ 13:27

    Thanks Spacey - I enjoyed listening to that? As to your accent... I couldn't say, but you remind me of my friend who is a Malaysian Indian. She's a very posh & flamboyant spin doctor.

  7. 49erFaithful Dec 03 2013 @ 13:36

    Thanks to all the readers! I've listened to them all and it's a fun added dimension. Spacey's accent sounds like a cross between English and Indian to me. So, you know, you're probably Japanese or something as I'm completely tone deaf.

  8. KieferSkunk Dec 03 2013 @ 14:56

    In an email conversation with Ben of FoldingStory Staff (regarding a technical issue that I'm apparently still having), I asked him if there were any plans to add a media upload feature for completed stories, so that we could upload our readings here directly instead of relying on sites like MediaFire. Or at least having a centralized forum where it would be easier to see when people have uploaded their recordings. :) Here's hoping!

  9. lucielucie Dec 03 2013 @ 16:29

    Sorry, Spacey - I didn't mean to ask you whether I enjoyed your reading. I meant to say that I did enjoy your reading. It was a rogue question mark.

  10. PurpleProf Dec 03 2013 @ 18:32

    Haven't been able to listen to any of your stories...yet...can't wait, though, based on all this feedback!

  11. SlimWhitman Dec 03 2013 @ 19:07

    I like everyone's reading: lot's of fun to listen to your dramatic interpretations. Inspired, I did a reading, but got bogged down 'cause my browser's not 'modern' enough for mediafire and updating it doesn't work. As far as stutter in playback, I found that downloading files and playing locally works best and that mpg seems to have less problems with direct playback from the mediafire website than wav. Regarding a potential mediafile site on FS: In an ideal world it would be nice if media related to stories could be stored here, but I'm worried about increased bandwidth. Also they'd want to filter for trojans and all that, i.e. additional overhead. I like the site's slim profile.

  12. MoralEnd Dec 04 2013 @ 00:18

    HAH AHAHAHA Spacey! That was awesome!

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