Joe wondered why he was still sitting in

Joe wondered why he was still sitting in the stands as the game entered the 16th inning. Maybe

it was the double double animal style he had before the game. If he moved an inch he was bound to

pop every seam on his uniform. But coach was yelling, the fans were cheering, and so he had no choice but to

slide head-first with his hands over his spectacles. The mud flew all over his wild mane of white-boy dreds and

he knew, in an instant, the only way that mess was coming out was with some serious turpentine. Worth it! If only he'd

worn his jean cutoffs and his old Hypercolor sweatshirt instead, he could of avoided the whole thing and been on his way

to the community pool but NOOOOO, it had to

be Block Island. Should they have the wedding party at the Sullivan house or Ballards? Ballards had the beach scene, but

the Sullivan house is probably the single most beautiful location on Block Island. Plus the name makes it seem like

it was from a Rockwell painting. What looks to be an unassuming location actually hides the fact that underneath lies

the popcorn I heard popping, but then again, who eats popcorn when they're at the bottom of a

deep funk like this? Those kernels just get stuck in your teeth, making you even more despondent. But it popped on

a cavity and her tooth BROKE! Got dang it! what an i gonna do. She was now toothless, fat and shabby. One of a kind.

Just like we remembered so many years ago, when candy was just twenty-five cents, and Candy was a buck fifty. Candy never liked her, but she did love candy. She would eat those

jujubes until she was so sick that she had to call the doctor. Of course, the doctor was more than just her "friend" but it gave her a good excuse to see him. Whatever. I will just

ignore the fact that she was cheating on me. Two could play that game! However, I decided not to return evil for evil and instead settled on simply

peeing on the first passenger that came onto my bus. I knew that wouldn't solve my anger issues but at least it made for interesting TV. I love it when

reality TV shows try to show the goods, only to have censors blur out the details.

Most often the details are so disappointing, the censorship does more to save the ratings than help it. When it doesn't, I make sure it's leaked. Ratings are God in this town.