His film career long in the shitter, Macaulay

His film career long in the shitter, Macaulay Culkin now spends his days forging horseshoe culkins, caulking video game level designs, and helping his dad's tile-caulking business.

If you got something that needs a good caulking, Macaulay is there for your caulking needs. He can occasionally be seen caulking away at stuff that doesn't need caulking. And

that tends to upset the union caulkers, who want to be the only people dispensing caulking all willy nilly. It's a satisfying thing, being a place's main source for a good caulking

waltz. Ah those zany Germans. They blended caulking with the 3/4 beat of a waltz. So the union workers decided this time they were going to Berlin to show the

sauerkraut brigade some good old fashioned Albanian incompetence. The Albanians had caulk everywhere within a matter of minutes. The Germans were less than impressed. They were

chunky soup. Stormsausage Horstmacher, screwing in his monocle, slapping his riding boots with his crop said "Ve haf vays of meking you vear tight leather" The lederhosen-clad

stew lover was an imposing yet amusing figure. I snatched his riding crop our of his sausage-like fingers & laughed right in his round little face. "Beat it, Horstmacher, before I

pour ketchup and mustard all over your hands! That'll teach you to mess with me!" Yeah. That would show him. But then, just as I was preparing the condimental punishment, the

Hotdog King sent his guards to open the gates welcome me into his palace. The HotDog Vendors gathered around and cheered as I was appointed a hero of Hotdog Kingdom.