And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment
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And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, the highlight of the evening. I give you your contenders for Woman of the Century. First off we have
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Mother Teresa (applause). Over in the other corner we have Ru Paul (thunderous applause). Let the Woman of the Century wrestling match begin! The crowd went wild as Mother Teresa
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threw a sideways fallaway slam on RuPaul right out the gate. Blood poured out of RuPaul's ears. Mother Theresa climbed the turnbuckle, the Woman of the Century wrestling match
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spontaneously broke out on cue and the brakes fell off of the lead car. Luckily Mother Theresa's lingerie had been a gift from M5 and as such was equipped with suppressing fire.
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That's when the theme music started. "Secret Agent Priest / running from the Mexican police / with the Pirate Nun / they're always on the run." Mother Theresa cackled at the poor
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cadence of the verse and slapped the composer's wrists with a wooden yardstick. But "Secret Agent Priest and Pirate Nun became a hit TV show because the general public does not
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like it when others lie, cheat, and steal from the clergy. Pirate Nun had spoken to Jesus through prayer and a dove descended
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upon the clergy, identifying that someone had a dirty secret, someone went against the vows those buccaneers made to the Good Lord, beckoning both St. Erasmus and St. Nicholas to
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drop their proverbial drawers and expose their disease to the Bishop of Dirty Secrets, the Vicar of Indecent Ambiguities, the Supreme Pontiff of Unscrupulous Gloominess, Al Pacino.
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A flourish of trumpets sounded as a red carpet rolled out. A girl threw rose petals before Al Pacino as he entered. Pacino, thinking it was 1975, chanted: “Attica! Attica! Attica!"
5
- Started
- 2013-05-14 22:33:42
- Finished
- 2020-04-20 17:36:24
6 Comments
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LordVacuity Apr 20 2020 @ 19:04
He should have been singing Frankie and Johnny.
Woab Apr 23 2020 @ 17:30
I thought "I'm dying, here..." might also work.
LordVacuity Apr 24 2020 @ 01:48
Hoooah!
LordVacuity Apr 24 2020 @ 01:53
He could ask to talk to his wife, Fredo Spaghettio. He can play DEVILS’S ADVOCATE. He can take the HEAT. He is like a second GODFATHER to so many.
LordVacuity Apr 24 2020 @ 01:57
Full disclosure, I am quite sure the wife’s name was not Fredo Spaghettio. It might be Sonny. But he was played by the same actor who played Fredo in The Godfather. I seem to remember … I think.
Jimbeau Apr 24 2020 @ 03:27
John Cazale appeared in five films over six years, all of which were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture: The Godfather, The Conversation, The Godfather Part II, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Deer Hunter.