One day, I was running on the beach and fell
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One day, I was running on the beach and fell into a huge hole.
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I got sand all in my eyes and hair, it hurt so bad!
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I started to cry and run to the water. That was a bad idea because the salt made my eyes hurt worse!
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My only choice was to start mining the salt. Thankfully, the market for pink rock salt had grown since I first invested in Salty & Faulty Inc. I soon had enough cash to have my eye
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lengthened and then sharpened. I aspired to be a vampire. There was only one problem. The sight of blood made me faint.
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Perhaps I could just drink lymph instead, though I think I'd have a real tough time trying to tap into someone's lymphatic system without mixing blood in with it. Damn, this was
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...ahhh... I couldn't even finish my sentence, so faint was I. Anne Rice suggested that I try systematic desensitivation to deal with my simultaneous desire & aversion to blood.
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As an accidental tourist, I lived like my pet peregrine falcon, Duncan. He had known Lady Macbeth and unsuccessfully tried to remove that damn spot. He quit as her servant before
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she killed herself and moved on to work as a carrier pigeon for the postal service which, as a peregrine falcon, was somewhat demeaning for Duncan. Still, it was better than
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being Head Quahog on an asteroid that no-one had ever heard of, and there was a pension plan. This worked out pretty well for Duncan until drones were invented. After that, pffft.
3
- Started
- 2013-02-07 14:49:36
- Finished
- 2016-07-14 15:56:18
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