In the outback the Australian Aboriginal

In the outback the Australian Aboriginal tribe sat in a circle and told stories of the dreamtime. These stories would help explain how the creatures had come to inhabit the land

-cruisers that those irritatingly persistent British drove all over the sacred land. The Aboriginals recalled the tale of the Drunken Wombat that hat hotwired a landcruiser belongi

that God was with them, others say that He was dancing right alongside them. Prince Charles

And Camilla returned from a leisurely dinner and spotted Harry there. "Another girlfriend, eh!" , Prince Charles said, laughing.

The laughter woke me up--this was the dumbest TV show ever, but I'd be fired as a member of the Nielsen audience if I didn't have some comments.The phone rang. I'd have to wing it.

"I thought the uh the sets were quite plausible," I told the Nielsen Operator. "And the uh actresses with the face- the good looking face was- was just dandy." There was a pause on

the other end of the line as the Neilsen Operator suppressed a yawn. "How many stars would you give the movie?" he intoned, no longer wishing to live. I said, "Like two or three?"

I heard a gunshot at the other end, then sound of commotion. Finally, someone got on the line:"Sorry, the previous Nielson operator comitted suicide; from 1-10 how do you rate him?

"Mmm," I tipped my laundry basket over, letting the clothing spill onto the floor, "a 6. He never told me the appropriate amount of detergent to put in my laundry load." I hung up.