Finished Folds (2761—2780)
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5President Bieber and his staff had been executed. Every nation on Earth had declared martial law. When everyone on the planet can reach into a box and withdraw absolutely anything
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3True story: I was stopped at a light, really going for the gold. I had this crusty booger entrenched deep in the nasal fortress and when I plunged extra deep I scooped out
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6think they know everything. -Don't steal, Don't kill, Don't get caught.- Well, on that last one they were right. I continued to work on sawing through the straight jacket with
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10Steve activated the iChute app on his iPhone and did a graceful dive out of the plane. "I love technology!" he yelled, but then looked down at his phone...BUFFERING... No parachute
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8Pretty kitty sitting so still. Are you hoping to catch your fill? The little brown mouse just ran in his house. Silly kitty sitting so still.
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6I started laying down a face-melting guitar solo. My fingers were bleeding and black smoke started pouring out of both amps. The sound engineer came running out yelling STOP! STOP!
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6Having no idea how to be a Tom, I dashed in to pick up the Cliff's Notes version of the Complete Idiot's Guide to being a Tom. The first (and only) page said
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9*deep breath* "Hi. My name's 49erFaithful and I'm a FoldingStory addict." *swallow* "It all started pretty normally. I found a link to the site and decided to try it just once. But
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3The huge pianist says "knock knock". A chicken who had just crossed the road said "who's there?" The bartender served the duck and without missing a beat said
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3genitals back from whence they descended. I lured him into an open field with a 6 pack of tall boys and told him to go ahead and have one. Then I told him to close his eyes. When
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3I had the throttle pegged but the unholy creature was gaining and seemingly growing in size with every passing second. The very air around it was pulsing with heat as I careened
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3repentant tenants. 'Go Away!' ... 'We don't want you here!' ... 'We're not worthy!' ... and other such scribblings. So of course, I took the doll house into the backyard, grabbed a
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4Luckily, I had a good Dogma, and he showed up just in time to chase the Karma Police away. Inadvertently, I began to lick my new feline paws and rub the side of my head, which
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2leprous ring finger. He'd been shedding digits regularly since "the incident" last year in southern Guam. "Damn, I KNEW I shoulda gone to Cluck 'n A Bucket!" she cried when she bit
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5her by the horns and said "Corn syrup, high-fructose. NOW!" But something in the effort didn't agree with me. I stumbled forward, knocking a crate of sugar free Red Bull over and
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0Funky Bunch arrived and started dancefighting everyone off the main stage. They'd gone feral after Marky Mark went Hollywood and now it was up to us to turn tail or declare war. We
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4into the field of despondency. The resulting gerbilcide was beautiful in it's cruel efficiency. Jamboni had equipped each necrohamster with a staff 4 vs. gerbil and in a sick
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4fish farmers with three teeth to share between them had drawn me a map to the courthouse. Of course I was lost, or course. To top it off, my best suit was getting sweat stains from
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2for her measles but the malaria really hit her system hard. Later, Kurt stopped by the hospital to bring her flowers and a magazine when he saw a rabid bat gnawing on Amy's neck.
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3she was being watched. She glanced over her shoulder and HOLY SHOOT! THERE HE WAS! Ursula broke into a run but a rope lassoed her cankles and she went down hard in the muck. A hand