Finished Folds (3241—3260)
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0nother onset of priapism, oddly. He held one hand over his neck and used the other to support his problem area and took off running towards the nearest hospital. He knew from exper
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3What do I get? Cake, hives, and debilitating back pain. I must have some bad karma. There was that one time I stole a bike. How was I supposed to know
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1felt so strongly about this that he put on his best mummy costume and began murdering random strangers once per week. After a couple months
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1Dykeson's Militia Training Academy. John had the midget crew stuffing black powder into knee-high panty hose when the Feds showed up. You've never seen such chaos. Two midgets
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7wouldn't schedule a normal money drop like all the other blackmailers. No matter. OJ checked behind him and the Jackson 5 were right there. He chucked the suitcase out the window
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10began to debone the fish. The other train passengers immediately moved to other cars. Tork had been on the run for weeks and even for a madman, he looked like a lunatic. A metallic
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5eating canned mini-wieners and watching the Discovery Channel all day. Unfortunately for the bio-nerds, extreme nitrate intake caused severe dementia and at the 3rd annual
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4knockoff leatherman and looked for the chicken toenail remover tool. Mose held the chicken while Dwight approached with what amounted to a cheap pair of scissors. When he
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5doing people's taxes down at H&R Block. They didn't drug test and I could add pretty decently actually. One guy got really mad when I
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1After all, who isn't? She figured she'd speed things up by unbuttoning the top 2 buttons on her blouse and bringing some popcorn up to the accountant. When she got to his desk she
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3eating a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats at the same time. My mother-in-law screamed at me to get out of the bathroom and I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up. I threw
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4mad ass-clenching jump-roping skills during Oprah's annual Double Dutch Community Outreach show. I could get a good 12" of air with cheek power alone and could lay down sick rhymes
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3duck etouffe for the dinner party. She knew most of the guests had undiagnosed mood disorders from her recent research in Cosmo and really wanted to help them help themselves. So
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5McDuck was Scrooge's cousin and while Splooge wasn't as rich as Scrooge, his lifestyle was tits. He'd wake up
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1a small red truck next to the world's biggest mountain of milkbones. The dog was shaking with joy and anticipation. I figured this would be a good test and firmly said 'Stay', then
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1t a place he could sleep but that there was a shelter a couple blocks away. I kept my beat clean but wasn't entirely heartless. He still seemed confused but I checked him in OK.
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5along the tree bark. Her stomach was in a knot but she couldn't stop giggling with her friends. She looked down at her hand and the skin was pulsing slowly and swirling around like
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1would be a perfectly horrid scene even if we could pull it off. Enough was enough and I pulled into Long John Silver's to an absolute shitstorm of complaints. Everybody piled out
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1my head through a wall and began retching into the empty wall space while they redoubled their efforts to "help" me by pounding on my back now. Just when I thought I was done
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1for UnThanksgiving supper. Sam and Ella would each help with a chicken and we'd have some sashimi, teriyaki noodles, steamed artichokes, and horseradish gingerbread dumplings for