Finished Folds (121—140)
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2a shat on toilet seat. GODDAMNIT Gunther!!! You bastard! Even in death this asshat was pranking me. I cleaned myself up, finished the sausages, poured a flask of scotch and hopped
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4A woman in the audience screamed. The lights flickered. A blur of action. I squinted & thought I could make out someone being carted off stage. Brenda laughed nervously. "OK folks
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4As usual, Joe screwed the pooch and snorted their last container of magnesium powder. Anton threw Joe out and made a call to his materials contact in Iowa. This experiment required
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6ended up finishing the whole tray and I'm told I had a good time. Nine months later the stork delivered little Mary J.
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14GOL-DEN SHOWERS!!!, four calling cards, three freedom fries, two English muffins, and a broken down VW microbus in my parking lot. The carolers all looked expectantly at the closed
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3cubic yards could be filled with Icelandic yak semen collected from a single individual. Hoang was stumped due a conversion he'd misallocated & Bartwang The Administrator was about
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4down a very slippery slope. Unfortunately for Captain Wrightblock and Poop-deck Pappy, the sideplot rowboat was dashed against the rocks of reality when a Brevity Editor got hold
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14butcher's wife." "Wait! This meat came from Jorge's? Get it out! Get it out!" The roast was promptly flung into the gutter. Several bundles of sage were lit and the purging stone
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14n-stained Cheetos-orange fingers protruding like tens of points of bright light in the night's approach. I refused to die. By will alone I raised up, grasped a pilgrim and asked
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4shinola because I'd learned my lesson with telling it apart from other more unsavory piles. The upside of the nuclear holocaust was that no more neighbors were hogging bandwidth so
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4"And *that*, honey, is how I got these scratches and bruises all over my legs! From ripping off the leg warmers so fast! See? Honey?" But he was already gone...
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2thought the best idea to honor Pvt. Pickett was to dip him in honey, roll him in glitter, and give him a ride to the top of the flagpole. It was all very glamorous until Major Assh
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2would lead me to uncover an unauthorized uranium refinement factory. Prying open my first bottle of Honkie Clown Whiskey, I knew the answer had to be at the bottom of one of these
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10of that whole Middle Earth fiasco. Plus there was the height disparity. At first the human-elf rivalry at the North Pole was the typical juvenile hijinks, but when Papa Elf took a
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4It was cool. So cool in fact it started a wearable monster trend. Think: vampire biting your neck, with his or her body playfully wrapped around your shoulders for a vamp scarf! Or
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5for the stingee is severe. For at precisely 80.192836419421291 degrees a bee's stinger gets a POWER UP and upgrades to a spreader stinger, doing three times the normal damage.
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4Ricardo, the custodial engineer, however, wasn't so discreet. After snapping a cell shot of the bathroom stall wall and posting it on several social media sites, Big Bob's secret
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8Ever so stealthily I eased my arm into the water & let the giant octopus work it's way up my arm, down my back & into my pants. With a bit of a waddle I exited the pet shop quickly
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2asses and eludes deathtraps, I do *my* rappelling in assless chaps." "You'd rather go first, than be below. Unless you're a spelunker that prefers a show." "He'd rather go first,
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6. Blistered nose hairs are left in its wake, perhaps something died down at the lake. Could dead fish be the source of the reek? More likely Big Ed simply lifted a cheek.