Finished Folds (141—160)

• 2
  laxitives and started to black out as liquid shit shot out of my ass and into the tub. My imaginary man friend never broke eye contact with me, which was a

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  Davodd

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  2011-04-05 04:01:56

• 3
  new and improved all-temperature cheerful." Auntie's attempt at wit was met with blank stares and a renewed consensus that it was time to put her in a home.

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:56:45

• 6
  he broke out in hives at the sound of a xylophone, so he avoided marching bands with a passion - and stocked up on calamine lotion and various ointments and salves - just in case.

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:53:21

• 7
  lice had to wear sunscreen.

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:47:54

• 2
  the homeowner giggled, thinking, "Dumb waiter - meet dumb realtor."

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:45:19

• 3
  meal was ruined when my wedding photos were passed around and the only thing the guests would talk about was my sister-in-law's stretchy-pants created camel toe. I wanted to die.

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:42:19

• 3
  by the Republican National Committee as a way to lull poor people and other low income workers to ignore their fishy offerings and

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:39:17

• 3
  They called me retarded when they thought I couldn't hear them. It made me so sad, sometimes even licking windows didn't help me cope with the fact that my parents thought I was a

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:36:38

• 3
  in the leper colony - the only rule: the staff was off limits. I had my eye on the blonde with the

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:32:32

• 5
  was taken out in an interpretive dance-off. I decided to dance in the style of old-school mid-80s break dancing to the beat of the Electric Boogaloo. My opponent, chose to

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:30:23

• 3
  joke? I'm not needed here. But so today isn't a complete waste for you, I have a couple of dryer balls for you," the doctor said, handing over the as-seen-on-TV things to

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-26 20:27:48

• 3
  stranger to fleeing an armed man, but in this case, he didn't know Dick.

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-23 12:05:14

• 0
  gnawed off the cartilage and other connective tissues from the bone as he proofread the words glowing back at him from the monitor. Finding an error, he

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:37:46

• 1
  The last time I heard someone say that was the 2010 Folsom Street Fair - and let's just say the beverage then did not smell of fruit. But the straw in the Orange Julius before me

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:34:34

• 2
  was eying a gap-toothed hooker at the other side of the room. He could smell her unwashed and heady funk across the crowd and it sent his head spinning. Swallowing back drool, he

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:30:35

• 0
  the gaily hormone injections. The Doctor particularly liked the lush growth of

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:27:51

• 5
  danced until we chaffed so badly that we spent the rest of the evening applying salves, ice packs and Anusol to our tender parts. It was a bonding experience that

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:23:16

• 5
  the undead). Instead, from his stronghold in Wyoming he

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:18:39

• 5
  start cutting himself again. Last year he did that and it almost ruined Easter. The outlook for this year was just short of

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  Davodd

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  2011-03-20 22:16:43

• 1
  Charlie Sheen sideshow hogging up the media. His tour with the Goddesses - called Torpedo Tour, was nicknamed "Two and a Half Brain Cells" by the press. It was a hot

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  Davodd

  Folded

  2011-03-20 22:14:15