Finished Folds (881—900)
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3My love for thee makes that: 14)I'm choked up beyond Heimlich's reach, 15)My heart's cockles are past Burnaid's help, 16)The panting accelerates so my inhaler can't keep up
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5His icy hand almost slipped from my grasp, catapulting him into the abyss below, but he kept his cool and held fast. In retrospect I now wish Frosty had taken that plunge, because
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5her hairstyle, her lipstick, and her brand of breakfast cereal, love would win out. He would learn to accept the new her- tho it meant sharing their cheerios instead of raisin bran
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3the moon resulted in traffic jams of cosmic proportions, as hundreds of millions of comedy fans boarded space shuttles, hoping to find the spot where Ralph Kramden dispatched Alice
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6joined Katy on the trampoline, but their combined weight had the effect of launching her so she levelled out right atop the grill. Sarah yelled and frantically rescued the burgers
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2brought him straight to the Glazed County Fair cat show, where a robust trade in human trafficking went on behind the scenes. The driver half carried him over to a gang of oriental
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1Merv Griffin came over fuming. "Can you and Hillary please take this out of my casino?" he whispered urgently "The Taj Mahal already went bankrupt once, and a scene like this
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4From Canal St. to Wall St. was a subway ride, but the wolf was desperate to be back home. That was the site of his rise to power, and JC Penney was offering 20% off sheeps clothing
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0In the aftermath of my whiskey, I pondered the body in the building lobby. Serves the hag right for giving me a hernia! This time, I chucked her with all her packages from the 16th
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4"Kwai Chang", but he insists on "Grasshopper". This creates an identity crisis, because what dog is a man's pest friend? So I ran away from home, living off my kung poop skills
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5insisted Wierd Al, but it was beyond him. Until overhearing Uncle Scrooge whisper: "My will names those who feast the most at my banquets" He then tucked in with a gusto, shoveling
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6cerebral aneurism keeping track of the various affiliations. If they didn't sue for peace now, every possible combination of keyboard caharacters was a potential killing machine
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1Had she remained in class, she probably would have ended up marrying that gorgeous Mr. McIntyre who was always copping glances at her. Then, someone else would be doing the driving
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6tattoo salon. Shakespeare, of course, was out of time. But Stein was never loathe to entertain herself, and engaged in a lively back and forth with her consciousness
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3charged with spoiling a blind date by leaving the poor fruit stumbling around in the sun for days. In light of a prior conviction for upsetting the apple cart and not giving a fig,
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4and eliciting a howl of disappointment from the den, where the larvae huddled around the tv watching Sweet Genius, Stripey raised the hive's shields: "We've got 20 perr-sent, Jim!
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5bartender, whose last duty had been a bouncer assignment. He socked Joe a terrific one in the jaw. Joe shot a shocked look at the automaton: "What was that for?" "I am #3, sir" rep
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3he was arraigned before Judge U. R. Ded, who knew nothing about his laughing epidemic, on a DUI charge. The judge gave his usual lecture, describing the horrific consequences of
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1"You are about to bid adieu to a hundred dollar bill" presaged the savant "It will leave you for a beautiful girl in a skimpy cost..." POP!! "Wait, that balloon is extra...
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3"Jeepers creepers!" I yelled at him "Don't you know any better than to break the Fourth Wall!?" He lowered his eyes. "Dropped out of school at age three. Never learned to count