Finished Folds (901—920)
-
4tradition to arrive 2 hours early on April Fools' Day. She had been had once again! "Why, I'll show those corporate scumbags!" she muttered acridly. Buying a propane torch from the
-
2Ahab, notable animals' rights activist, and proponent of fishing abolition. "Those baby sharks had feelings like everyone else," he intoned during a White House interview, a tear
-
6their great WWII triumph, and how they saved "zoze krezzy Amereekenz" from certain defeat, and how their "Rezeestance" singlehandedly made a fool of Rommel. The Martians nodded
-
4The coffee had run out in a Stabucks joint! They would need to grow it afresh. She bolted out back to the Columbian Environment Simulation Lab, and planted instant coffee beans
-
1anyone to mistake me for a cross-dressing hooker- but that's what happened. Instead of reaching my office early, I ended up racing down the subway station steps with 6 men running
-
4Sure enough, he hadn't brushed his teeth after munching those Pringles. "Pardon me!" he told his adversary, whipping out a mirror and a pocket toothbrush. Using his leftover Coke,
-
1That joint was amazing, man! It's pepperoni aroma added to the experience and made me want to toke more doobies like this. So now I'm big on crack and need to do rehab all over.
-
4The crippled yet formidable octopus hugged me tight and began preparing the penguins' meal, planning me as the main course. I was to be served up with a side order of seal whisker
-
5We fixed it by giving out gas masks to the arriving attendees. The Mayor's gala banquet would have gone ok, except the dragon feet decided to tap dance merrily out of the cauldron
-
0Force everyone to undergo librarian training. With their faces molded into scowls of diapproval, their spectacles perched primly at nose end, inner strictness would drive fun
-
3So nobody was allowed to raise their arms in the subway any more. Their olfactory senses not under constant attack now, a calm reigned below the earth. Former muggers now smiled
-
3So he carefuly wrapped his dad in a sheet of canvas, and gingerly carried him out of the museum where he had been on display. "Into safe storage you go!" he declared stridently
-
3He was squinting up at those dazzling lights right now, his jaw still ringing from the stunning k.o. Creed had delivered to his shocked chin. Maybe his idea wasn't so great
-
1Disneyland. When we landed there folks thought we were part of the show, so when I marched out with three little green people and my cat 'bot, they approached us for autographs
-
5and recruited Spock to apply a Vulcan nose vaccum, effectively drying the counter, along with most of the water bodies in the planet below. It was now essential to beam down to the
-
2But once the effects of the LSD started wearing off, I began feeling my usual dreary self again. You know what? Maybe there is no purpose in life. I pondered that,
-
1The film's star, who only spoke Japanese, scratched his head and wondered what that funny kraut was talking about. So he was too busy to notice the prop train that ran him over.
-
4James Bond Schluchenbach, to be even more exact. Biggest nerd in my class. Even our dorky science teacher is cooler than me. In the cafeteria, I sit alone. Stone cold alone.
-
2"911? I need to report an escape!" The wail of sirens could be heard now, and squad cars stopped in front of our house. "Mam, you're under arrest for letting Truth out of her box!"
-
2But sasquatch had other ideas for me. As I scribbled into my diary, a shadow fell across my window. It was bigfoot. Glass shattered as a huge hand reached in and crushed my throat.