Finished Folds (221—240)
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4"Go home, drunk. You're Lary," Lary screamed. He mounted the bar and began dancing the tango with his beer stein. He left that night with a few head injuries and a pile of reckless
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6After the Spanish Flu had killed half of the world's population, I figured I ought to take some time and write my will before I kicked the bucket. Who would I include?
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7they were out for their weekly Grasshoppers Self Help Society for Depressed Grasshoppers. When they saw his corpse, there was great rejoicing. No more suffering at his cruel hands.
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4Sweet Georgia gravy! It was as real as the stupidity of my in-laws. It was just standing there, slack-jawed, motionless. It tried to mutter something, but I couldn't discern any
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5from Wyoming. Notice the "omnomnomnomnomming" of his face. Over here, we have an elderly woman zombie. Tales say she claimed thirty-four hosts before finally pushing up daisies.
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5Her footsteps sounded in that small, dank tavern. He took his last bullet and slipped it into the revolver, emerging from the bar. He met her eyes and pulled the cold trigger.
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9(which really means that I swam home, looked it up on Google Translate, and then came back). By then, the Russian sailors had drowned and I felt very bad. Vodka eased the pain.
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3spirit. Now, I ain't got no legs and I can't do no wanderin'. An' my Li'l Missy--she done left me for another man. He got a good pair o' legs. An' I don't think I'll ever find love
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5moment, Little Jimmy dedicated his life to making breakfast sausage for wealthy magistrates. When they asked him about ingredients, he replied, "LITTLE MEAT AND LOTTA LOVE."
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6I looked into the wild eyes Hagatha. My consciousness was fading fast. "I KNOW NOTHING OF THE TOAD." Hagatha replied, "And he knows nothing of you." I felt the boiling water of the
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1an exhilarating escapade, but our long sought-after success would not be achieved. Mrs. Peakedly emerged from the dark shadows of administrative bureaucracy and ended our fun.
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4"Oink." I was disturbed by his lack of refined manners and elegant language. "Thou art a detestable lowbrow, worthy of great ignominy." I expectorated at him in a graceful manner.
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4No one really knows. A flash of light, the sound of gun shots, and you realize that you really are a double agent working for the U.S. and Russian intelligence services. I stood
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5apron and his winning smile and save people from asparagus and other unpalatable vegetables. But while Mesquite Man was marinating himself in a tub of BBQ sauce, something terrible
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5to the Google search bar. No, a Wikipedia article wouldn't help. He typed "mafia" into the search again and clicked "I'm feeling lucky." But that punk didn't feel lucky at all.
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4having to deal with lawyers. Zombie lawyers. The ones threatening to take over society. I heard a voice. "Threatening? It's too late now. They are everywhere. And they are coming."
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4spills forth with fatuous tarradiddle, like some insolent child who has just lost his favorite confection and is screaming for something... oh no.... What is that word over there?
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4the old moldy refrigerator in Mrs. Gibbons room. Unfortunately, it was on fire. But I had to get that biscuit recipe, So I endured the flames, reached behind the fridge, and felt
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2Unfortunately, the actors had mistaken Mighty Putty for chocolate pudding. They were higher than Patrick's dad on the 4th of July, and I ain't talking about the trapeze.
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2join in the proceedings. Last time Mel tried, the LARPing session degenerated from a friendly game into a miniature Hunger Games in the backyard. No one survived except for Mel, wh