Finished Folds (321—340)
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2awkward." He responded, "You don't know what I've been through. Those window shoppers--you know who they are? They aren't who you think. They are heinous psychopaths."
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4the grocery store and pulled out a gun. He demanded that the clerk give him $20 and a nail gun. He wouldn't tell the clerk why, but the clerk obeyed. Then the adult ran to 5th Stre
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3washboard abs and explosive biceps. If you went to the gym on Monday evenings, you would find Rick there, straining his muscles to ascend to a higher plane of being. There was a pr
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5in order that they might feed the contingent of footsloggers with buckets of shallots. Unfortunately, shallots blinded most of the footsloggers, so their rebellion kind of failed.
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4But she was an urchin--the poorest child in upstate New York. And all the dolphin gangs of the Prohibition Era had porpoised to make her life a living hell. Then, there was a
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8He dragged me into a beat-up convertible and brought me to a Beach Boys concert. In South America. "What's metal about this?" I asked. "It grates on the ears," my dad responded.
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2and a eurypterid appeared, flashing its stinger in a menacing fashion. Quagmire was alarmed, but Deathwish was quite pleased for obvious reasons. And the whole band played a dirge.
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4I decided to take dance lessons from Ronnie's Dance, Trance, and Pants Studio, run by the great Ronnie himself. When I found out that Ronnie was working for the CIA, things got
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5What is that over there? No. Seriously. That thing is seriously creeping me out. It's like a box. NO WAIT. OH CRAP. IT'S COMING THIS WAY. SOMEONE STOP IT. AHHHHHHH!!
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2and declared to the crowd, "Finally, I found my wallet!" He proceeded to pull his wallet out of his pants pocket and show it to everyone. Not as exciting as King Kong, anyway.
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2to tell her she looks good in that dress," you really shouldn't listen to me. You might misapply my flawless wisdom and make me look like a fool. But I am not a fool. I am always r
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7Candy Crush Saga. Part II: The Revenge of Queen Frostine and Grandma Nutt. When we last left off, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company burned Candy Land to the ground.
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2You know, I never was the best at racing games. I knew that you weren't supposed to hit the little animated people walking across the street, but hey, that's what my mom thought
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4Or a failure, depending on your point of view. The Shadow Dorito Syndicate was at work in Seattle, stealing everyone's Doritos and making young children cry for their mothers.
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5In fact, it wasn't Barbara Bush at all. It was a walrus, dancing the dance of the Universe. Easily mistaken for a topless First Lady, but everyone makes mistakes.
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7on the edge of a wine glass. The mariachi band stopped playing. Even Little Joe McFiddleNuggets was silent. Everyone regarded the chipped tooth with solemn reverence.
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5Father Joe Handsy was the town snitch. Legends say that he was there the night everyone was born. Just standing there, watching. Usually, he was singing some strange variant of
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3some problems. Being abstract, she couldn't actually walk under ladders or break mirrors. She didn't actually exist, really. And when one doesn't exist, immortality becomes hard...
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5But I didn't know how to romp, and I definitely didn't have a purpose, so I asked Aiden to teach me. Aiden told me he would as long as I promised I wouldn't skimp on the $40.
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3would be swift. Using various social engineering techniques he had learned at University, he managed to brown-nose his way into the party. Just kidding. He used lightning and stuff