Finished Folds (661—680)
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14things you shouldn't see, you have really bad guys wanting to kill you. When you have really bad guys wanting to kill you, you dress up like a woman and move to Brazil. When you d
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1"I don't do that commercial anymore," the old woman told the onlooker. "They fired me because I refused to do the pistol-shaped iPhone case commercial. I'm a pacifist, you know."
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4midget...well, at least he was taller than everyone else. LucieLucie recognized them all: the freshly folded fold; the dormant, fledgling, aging folds, and barely started folds.
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7chance to sing in front of Blind and Deaf judges. He belted out Weird Al's "White and Nerdy," but no-one reacted. Dejected, he quit singing, and became a speech therapist.
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3They called Horace "Breaker" Mahoney...Juggernaut. Legend has it that he murdered prostitutes...ripped off their limbs with his bare hands...ground their bones to make bread...
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4He had lipstick on the front of his Jockey shorts, and used condoms all over the backseat of his car. She had seasoned that frying pan for this very event. The cow caterwauled.
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6doo doo. I quit my bookmaking job, moved to Wales and joined a Welsh loansharking outfit called "The Pipsqueaks." I never did replace the drapes. Screw my Mom. Screw "The Rock!"
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5He drops dead on the spot. His wife becomes a hoarder. The house is condemned. The State seizes the house. Gay gypsies pitch their tents on the land. Skinheads murder the gypsies
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2"What? Wait!" the red rag in the dirt cried, "I'm not ready. Anybody got paper and pencil?" The other little rags in the dirt complained, too. "None of us is ready for your spee
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2warrant was approved, and a reward of forty-five dollars for my capture was announced over the McDonald's loudspeaker. I stuffed my super-sized Big Mac combo down my pants and
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2which peeved the tiger beyond belief; it roared, twisted, and jumped until its penis popped out of Harly's mouth. The game warden snatched him up and placed him next to the other
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4"Excuse me!" he shouted angrily. "If you two don't shut up, you'll have to leave!" My wife and I stopped laughing and shot the usher a WTF look. "Hamlet is not a comedy, idiots!
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8General tso chicken. 20) Vaginoplasty. 21) Speculation. 22) Hummus. 23) and I am getting very near the end now...anterior cruciate ligament...oh, hold on...just a few more. 24)
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1and matching bow tie were all he wore. The quaaludes were kicking in and the snowy white 18-year-old model slumped motionless on the floor. Bill grinned, drooling like a baby,
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3I'm not talking about the kind of mudslinging politician's do, like when one says you shouldn't vote for the other guy 'cause his wife used to be the bearded lady in the circus.
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3Just to spite THEM, if I knew I was going to die that day, I would have gone to school and had sex with Mary Lou Finklestein, in the cafeteria, while eating a
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1"Is I?" Zinnia acted surprised. "Well I declare...bankruptcy, that is!" One of the two men in tailored suits by the Gap couldn't take his eyes of Zinnia's elephantine breasts, and
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2"That's easy to say, but hard to do," Cesar replied. "Which one? The Nimbus 2000, the Mojowijo, the Lady Gag Gag, the Avatar Fleshlight?" "Okay, okay," I stopped him. "I didn't
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4but, then I looked at her, studying her curly black hair and bushy mustache. "That's right!" The elderly Mistress Banana Hammock cried, before I could. "Borat is my boyfriend."
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6Hell's furnace and feed it the folder monkeys; every Spoonerism. Now...starting over: If we band together, Shirley can be Squiggy and Laverne can be...ah...forget the whole stupid