Finished Folds (261—280)
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2It was impossible to tell which would explode first - the monkey? Or the diaper? We all gathered around to watch the thrilling conclusion of this week's episode of Diaper Monkeys
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2But I showed them in the end! I got more touchdowns than all of the New England Patriots combined! And I've got the concussions to prove it! Just look right here at my
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2I blew a whistle and came to a stop, then yelled "ALL ABOARD!". My enemy obligingly hopped on board my imaginary train, and then I realized just how silly this all was. "Y'know,
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6toward the right, about 10 degrees, just enough that her rotation was visible to the casual observer, but not so much that she would have a drastically altered perception of the
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3dog from the other day, still shaved bald. And he was PISSED. As soon as the door was open even a crack, he barged his way in and snapped at the guy's shining retinas, trying to
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1recognized by quantum physicists everywhere at once. She had succeeded in being both unknown and popular, awkward and graceful, ordinary and extraordinary, simultaneously and in
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4just before I awoke with a start. "What a strange dream," I said. "FEED IT CEREAL" came the voice again, followed by "SYSTEM ERROR TWO ZERO FOUR DATABASE CORRUPTION--" I shook my
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3er than I had in months, because my program finally solved that ancient paradox, "This sentence is false!" Or, it would have had I had it also change "false" to "false". Dammit!
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2box. Maybe all this existential stuff is just a pile of nonsense. Maybe I should have paid my phone bill on time. Maybe I'm allergic to soybeans. Who the hell cares? I've got the
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3ordered when I was a wee little boy. It was the greatest sandwich of all time. Ever since that moment, I have never found its equal. And so I searched high and low for another
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1Over time, I figured out that I fell more often in the Fall. Each of these seasonal fallings would be followed six months later with a strange tendency to bounce all over the
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2Bennington, for your complete failure to rid the world of the Chicken Pox! May the scabs of a billion inflicted children's cold sores fill your grave for all eternity!
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8be our salvation. "The Lord is my IPad. I shall not DOS. Tho I wander through the Silicon Valley of Doubt, I shall fear no Google. For thine is the Surface, and the Tablet, and
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2for maybe just a little while, the she-wolf leaned in really close, so close he could feel the warmth of her breath against his face... and then bit off his arm. "Ow!", he cried,
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2topics, like how to get into the Secret Disco Clown Society. I would have to plan this carefully. It would take a lot of work and a lot of time. See my next story for details.
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2Molly's lunch money. She's annoying. 11) World domination! 12) Get some donuts. A dozen assorted will be fine. 13) Play Cards Against Humanity until 3am. 14) Buy some
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6"Dude, keep it down, would ya? Some of us are trying to sleep!" The mysterious man left as quickly as he came, and the murderer continued his body cover-up more quietly.
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4But until then, I'm stuck with all you jerks. Go away.
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5Let's try something a little different. I want the next fold in this story to have nothing whatsoever to do with the previous one. Completely random. Go!
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4but you're fired! Gone! Zip! Your stuff. Box. Door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye!" Cave Johnson then turned his attention to the test subject, who was still bouncing around in the goo