Finished Folds (281—300)
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4to my attorney about a possible defamation-of-character lawsuit. In a matter of days, charges had been filed and I was well on my way to becoming a millionaire, profiting from the
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5Of course, getting to the church would be more difficult without my legs, so I rented a wheelchair from the local dealership. This one was the luxury model. It had a GPS, heated
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2was no help, of course. He was all too eager to impress the authorities with his princely charm, flashing that trademark smile which caused an audible flash of light off his teeth.
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5And of course, someone reported him to the Administrator's Notice Board for repeated vandalism, wiki-stalking and a whole bunch of other virtual crimes, and Mr. Wikipedia was soon
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3went on to cure cancer and solve world hunger via their infinite typing. That we could solve so many problems with an army of typewriter monkeys was truly the most incredible feat
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0nothing more than a bunch of big fat disco clowns. The world would have been different if I'd been different. But I hadn't believed Jake, and now he was dead, a rainbow wig left as
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3" When the sewer grille joined in, the man threw up his arms and shouted, "All right, that does it!" He then shot himself in the head, and the voices were finally silenced.
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4, all the while thinking about how this sounded like sour grapes from a second banana to me. "Orange you glad you have me here to zest up your a-peel?" Lemon Pie screamed again,
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0on his head. That would explain why one of his hands was found in the court room years later - he must have fallen apart, poor misunderstood lying wood doll that he was. Alas, the
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3-e, only to find it was a giant roach motel. The smart ones dared not set foot in the place, but most of them were persuaded by the promise of meatball heaven, so much so that the
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3could tell he must be super in bed. Superman tried to jump Wonderwoman's bones in mid-air, but forgot that just because her plane was invisible, it wasn't incorporeal. Down he went
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3where it promptly deflated. Man, I just couldn't get a break anywhere. Even the inanimate blow-up dolls of the ocean wouldn't have anything to do with me. Depressed, I
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3off the table, where it blinked away in a small garbage can. The hopeful cadet was distracted long enough for the test-giver to klonk him over the head with a frying pan, instantly
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9turned him on much more than he could ever have imagined. So he went for it, right there in the middle of the living room. In full view of the neighbors and their kids. A news crew
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2Martha set her plan in motion the very next day, when once again Jack went up the hill. She had secretly drilled a hole in his pail. If he came back and hadn't noticed, she'd know
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4It's important to marinate the meat tenderizer in olive juice before hammering out the mushy munchkins into thin, flat strips. The juice imparts a delicate flavor to the hammer,
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5Then a tiny spark set off a huge methane explosion and he died. The end. (Note: No clownfish were harmed in the making of this FoldingStory.)
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7A month later, when I stood trial for blowing my sister's head off with a shotgun, I was acquitted when a member of the jury had also turned out to be a zombie in training. Go me!
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4"CUT!" The director was furious. "I thought I told you to upgrade the processor in that sound-effects machine!" The SFX tech shrugged and rebooted the machine. "Okay, take two!"
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5and thrown onto a stretcher before I could recite the next page of the Necronomicon. Off I was whisked to the hospital, where they placed me in a padded room. The voices were still