Finished Folds (561—580)
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3Unfortunately, the Ferrari the key belonged to had been through both Hurricanes Katrina AND Sandy, as well as the Japanese earthquake and significant portions of the Iraq war. It w
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5and set their sights on Buddyboy's Arwing, which they suspected was emanating mind-control rays. Chaz crawled into the cockpit and reprogrammed the G-Diffuser, while M80 sabotaged
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5, then added "Can you point me to the nearest bathroom? I think I need a vowel movement." Lex the Bookworm had apparently OD'd on the joke book. He would be forever lost to us.
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5On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, two Tauntaun sleeping bags and a robot vacuum from the Sharper Image.
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7to him. They lowered their offer, realizing they could sweeten the deal on the Candy House if they could get rid of the Oompa Loompa subcontractors and hire Hansel and Gretel to
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6Otherhim III was awfully white, don't ya think? He couldn't rap to save his life. The cloning recipe needed more pizzazz, he thought, and so Otherhim IV was born, a disco clown to
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6moment we got there. I swear, those grim coroners would pass out at the sight of a fly. We began to perform CPR on the grim-faced mortician. The horse, relieved that he wouldn't be
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5four thousand people would Like my posts, even though not a single one of them could make sense of the gibberish I tend to write when I'm totally boozed up. It's just not as much f
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3find that it summoned a portal into the netherworld. Some poor demon on the other end of the portal would be mighty confused seeing a random person's junk poking through it. Oh
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4d the horizon, leaving a rather disgusting, bloody hole in my chest. Then an airplane rolled right over me on its way to the gate. I laid there, my body broken, pondering how I'd
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3I drew a pentagram on the floor and stood in the middle, surrounded by candles. Reciting the spell, dark energy began to pour forth from my fingers. Soon, my sweetheart had been
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3turned him into a disco clown, complete with rainbow hair, face paint and a big red rubber nose. It was really hard to take death metal seriously when you're dressed like that.
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4look like a disco clown. The rainbow hair, face paint and big red nose were just too much. I fell on the floor laughing as he took his leap of faith off the platform. The bungee
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7text text, texting until he dropped. When he died, they had to pry his phone out of his cold, dead hands. The texts were every bit as weird as they were inane: "u r my bff lol"
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2they dug in. As the Cthuloids devoured classroom after classroom, their collective intelligence actually went down. They were not, in fact, smarter than a fifth-grader.
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0that he was going to explode violently and messily sometime in the next thirty seconds. As usual, we knew better than to take Mr. Gingrich seriously.
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4We had a whale of a time. By the time we'd fin-ished, we'd packed all the crabs in there like sardines. But my shellfish partner took all the credit. What abalone!
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2The elves had set up an alarm that would go off whenever Mrs. Claus entered the toy factory. As soon as it went off, everyone ran for the exits or put on their gas masks. Blitzen
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3when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jawed space does a raw blink on hari-kiri rock. Do you need scissors? SIXTY-ONE!!
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7Mister Blakeney proceeded to whack his buttocks against the bar a full ten times, not realizing that everyone was watching. It would take a while to explain this one.