Finished Folds (161—180)
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10Nasty Wife #1 suggested I go jump off a cliff. Nasty Wife #2 had already left me for another man more capable of drinking Kool-Aid without burping. Nasty Wife #3, well, she was
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4Not that it mattered anymore, as Elsie was little more than a rapidly-fading memory now. The world would never know how close she was to achieving Warp Ten.
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5-h to be dangerous. Little girls' dreams were nothing to be trifled with. One false move could accidentally summon an Elder God to enslave the entire population. Jimbeau knew he'd
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5just shook his head and belched. "I'll buff that out before I take off," he said as he put on his suspenders and got to work, tearing down the castle in little more than an hour.
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3would show those idiots back at home. I'd prove to them that I was the best, that there was nobody else like me, and ... then I died. Oops.
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7But when he didn't see himself in the mirror, he realized that he was dead. A ghost among the living. And forevermore, he would haunt that house, its inhabitants none the wiser.
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3-at annoyingly, the genie came back to haunt her the next night. "OooOOOoo! Don't you wish you'd used your wishes, little girl?? Now I'm here, and I'm not going awaaaAAAyy! ooOOo!
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8You use PINE for your emails. Yeah, you like expunging your inbox, don't you? Why, I gots a good mind to sudo rm -rf your obsolete ass right out of the kernel, if you get my drift.
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5was a face that seemed to defy all existence. It stared at me, followed my every move, not blinking. It wasn't my face - I could see that too. But the Lily Nails mirror face kept
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3, where they lived ever-so-briefly in aquatic harmony until the overabundance of salt finished them off. As the last one died, he could hear someone playing Taps on the wind.
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5gardening class. One of the students had fallen into the wood chipper. "Well, that would explain it," I said as I calmly walked up and pressed the "STOP" button. The student was OK
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8if you're into that sort of thing. But if you're not, you might imagine instead that you're seeing a large field of snow bunnies, their little noses twitching and ears perking at
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4At some point, I realized that I had apparently become a flea, or a dust mite, or some other unpleasant insect. Gone were the days of my youth as a software developer for the
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3The mayor was forced to flee before they could bread and lightly season him. "This is a case of seasonal battery!" he said, after which he was promptly referred to AA and AAA for
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5shoot him. Just like that. Then you pick his pockets for loose change, grab that wine from the cellar, and make for a quick getaway. But then your horse gets stuck in the fence and
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8have to open up my soul to you this quickly, but for you, anything. Just to be with you, to share my innermost thoughts and desires with you, my... wait, who are you again?
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3were painted bright green and dark blue. Seahawks colors. Everybody knows the New England Patriots are the best team out there. Yeah, that guy's gonna get what's coming to him.
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7the recessed hallways of his brain. In fact, it would never reach the floor, for in that moment, the doctor had transcended all of human life, rising to a higher plane of existence
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6-ja-ja-JANE!" Mr. Drysdale's tongue then rolled out onto the floor, across the room and out the door, his hat flew three feet into the air, and a distinctly car-horn-like sound was
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3faithfully recreated in 4K resolution with HDR and full MPEG smoothing, with a digitally remastered 5.1-surround excerpt of "I Heard It Through the Grapevine". The androids were