Finished Folds (5201—5220)
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3Not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore at the office. "Happy Holidays" is also banned, as are the terms "Hannukah" and "Winter Solstice." In fact, we weren't even allowed to
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3. I wanted them to all leaf me alone anyway. I wanted to branch out and make new friends, but my parents kept me in limbo. I wooden't take no for an answer. Being a tree-child was
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3cept that now grizzly bears want to simultaneously eat me and crap on me at the same time. If I had my druthers, I'd rather smell like pumpkin pie. You want a piece of me, huh?
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5Trusty Steed because (as everyone knows), SlimWhitman is not the most creative among gunslingers. In fact, his life was one big cliche. He was a lonesome cowboy,
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2up due to the fact that they'd all failed their spelling test.They cried, but Mrs. Silveski praised the teachers for being such hardasses."Kids get away with everything these days.
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2top, revealing my braless breasts. I was exposed, both literally and figuratively and the limbs reached up to tweak me, while I wildly batted at the sandy claws. Sandy claws?
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6these simple pleasures causing the corners of my mouth to turn upwards.Ah, how long it had been since I last smiled.I had nearly forgotten what it felt like. My joy was short-lived
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5at it outta there as fast as he could, terrified, only stopping to look behind him once he got around the bend of the magic road.Doubled over, he tried to catch his breath, but she
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2Equally astonishing was the reaction from the crowd gathered at my feet.They looked up at me. Why, it even seemed they adored me! Apparently the waterfall juice transformed me into
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2salsa and stood nekkid on the Texas plains, the mariachi band playing "And They Call the Wind Maria." Maria caressed my cheeks until they were reddened and chapped. The wind
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2a nice chunk of Hakarl and a shot of brennivin. Did that mean I was subconsciously longing for Eddie? I salivated as I pondered the shark and felt my loins tighten with adrenalin.
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1Santa is Satan, dontcha know. Think about it. Both wear red. Both like horned animals. Both enjoy extreme temperatures. And both want to be the center of attention at Xmas.
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8"In the meadow we could build a snowman," Keith sang with a twinkle in his eye, "And pretend that he is parched and brown." Jill just stared at him.
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5"But the sign DID say 'shuck em, suck em, eat em rawwww,'" Harry whined as he followed Madge out of the county jail.
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5Well, it was unrealistic to think anyone could be ALL those things, so she simply settled on becoming a bisexual ball-throwing top-heavy anorexic singer. She called herself
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2Actual reality set in. Then: "So, uh, give me a bite." They set aside their arguing to consume grandma. "Mmmffft. Kinda stringy." Few understand that zombies have delicate palates.
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4Dang. Don McLean was trying waaaay to hard to update his lyrics to American Pie. He had hopes of Ke$ha doing a remix of his song, but he just couldn't get it right. He tried again.
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2-TV,Channel 6 Action News. He wanted to be a meteorologist if someone would just adopt him and send him to college. She re-mused then changed her mind.YES, he WOULD become her son!
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4The voice continued, "And when you leave your body, DO NOT go toward the light. Do you understand? Follow my voice into the darkness..." I had been struck by lightening, but this
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4Greg Rayburn, former CEO of Hostess Brands, Inc., contemplated his suicide note. He didn't really want to die. What he needed was a new lease of life, a new type of confection.