Finished Folds (5701—5720)
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2ssed by soy sauce? "Oolang, " he stated, then immediately regretted his error. Do Asians drink coffee? He decided to call 1.800.ASIAN ASS to find out. The call screener picked
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6Uh-oh. The red LED lights began rapidly blinking, which meant the 52 sheep were about to be muttonized. Damn! He needed those sheep for the commercial! Dragging the sheep out
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4who loathed Da Vinci but loved Greta Knudson slashed the Mona Lisa fruit sculpture to bits. Much better now. Also, it would be easier for the temple guests to eat the pineapple
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2stickin' their fists through the fence." Secrethart decided to leave the situation behind and, sporting a new shade called "Magenta Madness," she strode masculinely down the
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4enema. Newest craze on the west coast and helped him sit more comfortably in the saddle. Peering around the corner to avoid Hero, he made a beeline to La Groceria, where he could
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5Oooomph! I was tackled from behind by the nurse with the ginormous shoulders. A sharp stab in my thigh and everything began to grow dim. They caught me finally, thank the Lord.
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2Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?" The senior citizens resumed eating their shrimp cocktails. She worked the Early Bird Special shift at the casino, so
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6yville, Tennessee was where he was headed. Careening around the Smokies in his Batman catering truck, he nearly missed the Eddyville exit. 4021 Park St. Craigslist had said. The
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4palpated his bladder, causing him to want to pee, which he liked to do. On his way to the ladies' room, he pontificated his thoughts and postulated that the scarecrow must have
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3mainly because she made me do a backflip into the cesspool. The things I'd do for that woman, my mistress, my...everything. I'd betrayed my country for this wench and now she wan
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2Another moment of shocked horror. Then the task force sprang into action, wheeling out loads of Pepto-Bismol to the waiting trucks. "You idiots!" Dr. Strangelove cried. "No way w
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4Not understanding exactly what he was asking for, munchkin Spidey lay spreadeagle down on the sand. "OK, I'm reaaaddddyyyyy!" He closed his eyes and knocked over a waffler castle
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5she'd reportedly stopped in at Rio Rump for a quick Brazilian wax. They waxed her alright...and now Lt. Harold had the responsibility of finding out what really happened to Gert.
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2Mary Magdalene, estatic that she had succeeded in scouring the city of perverted priests. Her interruption caused a mistrial and killed one juror, but lawyers sang kumbaya at last
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4My Aunt Martha had terrible breath. But how could I tell her when I knew full well that she was leaving me 2.3 million dollars in her will? Keeping my eyes fixed on her pock-marke
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4"Boys? Time to come in now!" Mom's voice called out in the darkness, just as I was putting pressure on the trigger, prepared to blow his nanee nannee away." I lowered my gun but
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4illiterate, he ambled over to the cactus and sat on it, waiting for the next bus to Kingdom Come, the wonderland all Jehovah's Witnesses visited with their kids. Maybe they'd hire
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7...then pulled Lambie-Pie out of his hiding place, thinking she'd better show Derek rather than tell him. Derek stood outside her door 20 minutes later and, hearing voices, became
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1wanted his blanket. He was all alone except for Lawn-Boy in the corner. He didn't recall the green machine in his garage before. The fumes made him dizzy. Lawn-Boy gleamed and
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2momentarily lost control of the device, squirting a dab of whippy stuff on my assistant. Torture by creaming is the worst way to go, but they all got what was coming to them, eh?