Finished Folds (1—20)
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3seemed apropos. After all, the ranch was his livelihood and the livelihood of his kin going back generations. The Cowboy delivered one swift kick to his horse and off he rode.
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3about galactic justice.” “Because,” he intoned in his best baritone befitting a Jedi Knight, “I said so.” He went for his lightsaber clumsily knocking it to the ground.
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0I wondered alous why anyone else should have these beautiful eggs. Surely, they wouldn’t treat them as well as I would. I began to hatch a plan to hoard the eggs all for myself.
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0joke about the justice system, tie the courtroom in a bow, and head home to watch “Night Court.”
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2her own inflexibility. Her muscles and sinew were taut and unforgiving. She was as rigid as bamboo. He, on the other hand, had descended from a long lineage of contortionists
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0recited the ancient verses of the magi, his mellifluous baritone reverberating through the temple. The Rock began to levitate above the altar, the velvet sheet slipping off his
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3The same way you solve a problem like Maria! Send it to the Alps to nanny for the precocious children of an ill-tempered naval captain and you’ll be talking to it in no time.
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0I couldn’t help but admire their puffy pantaloons. i longed to be a better version of me, one that could pull off baggy pants. But alas, my skinny frame could not—would not handle
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1… the writer recoiled from the page, blood pouring from his eyes. He ran out into the torrential rain to cleanse his sins. But it was all for not. A portal of hellfire opened under
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2Or Suzanne Pleshette. Was there ever a Steve Pleshe? Is a Corvette a female car? Are all cars female? Are all females Suzanne Pleshette?! IS SUZANNE PLESHETTE STILL ALIVE?!?!
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1custard. Of course, I don’t have taste buds and my mouth is full of sand, so what would I know. But enough of this food talk. I know why you’ve come here, and furthermore, I know
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2my basked of used “The Wedding Planner” laser discs. The cases scattered and burst open causing discs to speed through the air slicing the arms of my
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2Miss Piggy was quick to rage. This flaccid excuse for a lover and dreamer was about to croak—not by the blade of his own knife, but instead, by the ham-fisted karate chop of
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4by something else, something… sinister? The only way to find out was to go deeper into the hallucinations, to befriend them, to earn their trust, to become like them. I focused my
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2store for tea and crumpets. The seating was divine and the people watching truly engrossing. There were certainly perks to living underneath a bed store, Mother Hubbard thought.
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2rolled across the land. The next day came—quickly and without mercy. Hampster Herod crawled over to his water bottle and licked sporadically. The time had come: Hampster Jesus must
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3all the coin on eyeliner and feather conditioner. When the harpy returned empty winged, I knew we were doomed. My despair, however, was premature. When all seemed lost, the harpy
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1create the next great American novel. I sat down next to the helicopter and pulled out a rough piece of paper out of my satchel with a flourish. I pulled the cap off my favorite
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2basket of lies. Because that pompous buffoon with his bodacious pompadour had gone too far. Because I was raised to right the wrongs of others. He. Had. To. Pay.
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4and rice (cilantro lime, if you were wondering) until we arrived at a laboratory. A slat in the door creaked open and a trio of eyes materialized within the darkness, peering