Finished Folds (61—80)
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2"Honey," I said, waking up, "I just had the strangest dream!" "Go back to sleep dear," replied Sloth from the Goonies, "my Barack Obama and Saddam Hussein arms need their rest."
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3pad. "Self destruct sequence initiated" a robotic voice squaked over the PSA. In the moments before his death, he reminisced eating campfire roasted rabbit with his mother. "Mom, I
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4getting free. "What is the meaning of all this!" I demanded. My captor smiled, "I carry the black plague, and soon so will you. And then... the world!" "Evil. I knew I smelled a
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2the plumpest nurples." Brent was clearly bent out of the Brent-shaped shape in which he was customarily bent. Nipple-peeping people could be a bit prickly at times, and Brent was
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4butt." You see, the He and She Queens had such an intimate and trusting relationship that such a request was entirely reasonable in this context. "Ok, fine. But this knife in my
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2They knew this routine well: Mother would now spend the next 40 minutes equivocating household cleanliness with moral purity. Instead of listening they played with the microwave by
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5's mother. Of course she wasn't fully in the dark, as she was wide enough to simultaneously occupy multiple timezones. Lammi & Chaz were terrified, but LordVaucity immediately felt
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1Although that's what I told myself last year. And the year before. Who am I kidding, I love the naked zombie swarm! Sure you'll lose a few things on the way, but it's just so much
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3and personally answered them. This violation was immediately caught by the Man Upstairs, of course, him being omniscient and all. AngelBecky was demoted to DevilBecky and sent to
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4That day the medical community learned about the incredible nutritional value of duck tumors. Ducks everywhere began being irradiated with uranium, much to the chagrin of Alfons, w
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4"Vanilla. An idea so normal that ...it's weird! I love it!" Wagner jumped out of the shower, "on the way let's talk about ...the weather!" He grabbed my hand and led me outside
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6have done! Sure she's a cow, but her feelings aren't made of leather!" It was plain to see that this raging beast took no bull. He was seeing red and ready for a fight to the death
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2But blood is thicker than the evolutionary sludge from whence all life began. Despite the ill-repute of the profession, I decided then and there to go into the family business.
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2k. Then I remembered flaming snake skull tattoo on my midriff. "Heh, I got that a long time ago," I squirmed, "I'm, ah, a different person now." She looked incredulous, "It looks
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5forever. If you're reading this manifesto, you have most likely killed me for my gold. Congratulations. If that's not true, my condolences -- I'm standing behind you with a gun.
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2"Uuuuuhhh me no mean to say me gay, me uhhhh... asexual?" The Chief eyed me suspiciously. "Good good Gringo, this mean you virgin, make good sacrifice to lava god." Son of a
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0I
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4use as a puck, being not remotely puck-like. Turns out you can buy a hockey puck for like three bucks at Big-5. But by the time I realized, my boy had grown into an adult nerd.
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6the Outback is a beautiful, culturally enriching experience. On your journey you may discover ancient aboriginal petroglyphs, or perhaps have a chance encounter with a koala! Every
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4But sure enough, a receipt showing full payment popped out of his sock. "I gots magic feet." Sloppy Joe explained. Ma Bell wished she could be impressed, but tech support had just