Finished Folds (1021—1040)
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5And it's all thanks to the Gene Pool Ugly Filter Act of '94. Who else can we weed out of the population and never see again? Lefties are weird; can we dump them in San José too?
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6and sold them as coin purses to elderly women who frequented the slots. "Why are they all rubbery?" asked Dolores. Myhat Mycoat replied, "The flexibility is for big winnings. You
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4much stuffing in our stuff? Is our stuff not stuffed enough? Some of us have even been bold enough to move on to things. Stuff is old news! But don't touch mine, that's good stuff.
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5The Motolounger's jet pack allows you to remove leaves from your gutter without standing up. All it wants is your love, and 3 payments of $1995.95. If you don't pay, it uses GPS
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4and married in one fell swoop in Vegas. Cramer ordered them the Marriage platter (hold the prenup) with a side of corn-off-the-cob at Pastor Pete's Drive-In. He and "baby" resumed
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6to the safe zone!" I had come upon a kindergarten game of tag. My 37-year-old self touched the safe tree with the girl. Was this weird? The cops couldn't get me in the safe zone so
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4the point of *me* be to live counterexamples? I was white, had dreadlocks, and said "go with the flow", yet had never smoked pot. Now, to eat tofu instead of meat just for taste
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5at my pile of losing lotto tickets. In a daze, I frantically searched for something else to scratch. Aha! My daughter had a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on her science test. "Jenny!"
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5BREAKING NEWS: Reports indicate nanny Jocinda is taking first-team reps at the 49erFaithful household. Mr. Faithful, "stoked" for SF @ NE, also said, "Jocinda makes a mean PB&J and
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4chosen to wear so much white after Labor Day. How could they send him off to other countries while committing such a fashion faux pas? Ye Prime Minister's Royal Gay Friends fixed
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4"Wow, it's a good thing my costume has no socks," said Sarcastiman. "I bet they would've been knocked off by the immensity of this new assignment, Cap'n." Captain Frank rolled
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7Billy could not grasp the true power of the instrument of destruction he wheeled into his 6th grade science class. The "Baking Soda Volcano" label made it seem innocent enough, but
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0"Ball Don't Lie" was the slogan of Madame Fortuna's Magic 8-Ball Shakery & Readery. Seeing as how an 8-Ball can't knowingly tell an untruth, I couldn't disagree. Her rates were
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6"Oops, I spilled some peanut butter and BBQ sauce on my ankle," said the mailman. "No bother, though. This surely is not a contrived situation that will come back to "bite" me."
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7Scrabble. Nothing says "apocalypse" like "mayan" with a triple word score. That's a legal move now, right?" My wife impaled herself with canned beans. The mood in my love bunker
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6"Keep left. Arriving at jail," said the GPS. The jewel thief wasn't falling for that one again. He stuffed his stash in the glove box and navigated the city by memory. Jaywalkers
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5comes vigor mortis, for what goes up must come down, he said. The craftsfolk stared blankly, but he needed the vase for his "florist friars" pun. "Do you prefer knock-knock jokes?"
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6on my doormat, urinating into my flowers with his robe untied. The mailman doodled in my paper and flipped me off. I would accept an informal party invitation if it meant leaving
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6that even anal beads should come with fries and a drink. A Malaysian child slave (who spoke English, somehow) said, "Fast food and a clogged butt are a bad combo. Combo #2, though,
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2down to baritone, much to the delight of my sentient cassette recorder. "Katie's too distracted to mock my sound/As our tent takes flight from the camping ground/Mmmyeah". Her iPad