Finished Folds (21—40)
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6would have bought her a drink. Luckily, my girlfriend beat me to the punch. I think it was her Mr. Ed mouth that really turned on my girlfriend. Before we even left the bar they
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1Not to be confused with Warts and Peas, the infamous children's story about a boy who was covered in warts due to his refusal to eat peas. Only an idiot would confuse it with the
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3She spoke the traditional Malaysian morning prayer unthinkingly as she opened her eyes. The sun was shining brightly, magnified as its rays reflected off the rolling waves outside
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3Walking through the slums of Rio, he was surprised to hear such poetry. Looking up, he saw the open window from which the words emanated. He picked up a pebble and hurled it
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6chimney while the real Spartacus entered the arena. You could tell he was genuine because he could stand upright and wasn't drooling. The other gladiators didn't notice
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2the DJ to play "Hot for Teacher" - a classic in these establishments. Of course, Bourdain had to try every "dish" on the menu. His local guide suggested he begin with the
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6were looking for the walking cane of an octogenarian. When they started tracking the GPS, the cops noticed it was traveling at speeds exceeding 90mph. A getaway car? No, it must be
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2but it was too late. The Superman Worm had already infested the financial banking system and now my bank account showed a balance in excess of $10 million. Time to get an offshore
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2in the spot next to him. He absently flicked his lit cigarette into the puddle and it flared up like napalm. He tried to casually walk away, but how inconspicuous can you be with a
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28made him feel kind of special. Like the first time you notice a girl looking at you. Being followed was nerve racking, but this was the most attention he'd received since
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4kill with style, too. Murder always came easily to me. Most killers start off with insects or animals. Not me. I was born to hunt humans. As the saying goes, you can run, but you
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4that he had since been satisfying his carnal urges through "safe masturbation" - a technique only taught in the most progressive Catholic schools during the Great Depression. Sadly
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2brew fandemonium. We were at a Rocky Horror-like screening of the greatest Canadian film of all time. I was dressed as Doug McKenzie and she was a ravishing Pam Elsinore. When the
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5with a lovelorn look in their eyes. He probably should have guessed that drinking Rhino Piss (the new alcoholic energy drink) would attract some attention during the safari, but
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4had forgotten to put it away. After a few days it would start to gnaw at him. After a week he'd start questioning everything and by the end of the month he'd be ready for the crazy
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4But there I was, stuck in the closet and about to be engaged. All I could do was run, so I hopped in my Cabrio, put the roof down and drove off with ABBA playing full blast.
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4be reshot. The lighting was all wrong and his leotard did nothing to hide his enormous cankles. Making another Numa Numa video would help get the other kids off his case. Just one
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1"Why watch other people do stuff on tv when you could be out there doing it yourself?" was his motto, so Paula knew this date was going to be
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2They missed the last ferry home because her dad was on the toilet and refused to let them leave until he was done. No courtesy flush meant the stench was palpable when
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5there were 2,369,073 results. Of course 2,369,072 of them were porn sites, but I clicked through each one until I found the good doctor. When she showed up covered in blood, I knew