Finished Folds (461—480)
-
1from the toasters nailed to the ceiling. Flaming toast crumbs threatened to set my goatee on fire. In haste I made my way to the bedroom, where I knew the waffle iron would
-
4the Sibyl of Cumae, who wrote her prophecies of who would win on oak leaves and let them blow around her feet. In his case, however, she would stuff them into a FedEx NextDay
-
4have to stop stabbing those that I love. And biting them too. I really shouldn't set them on fire either, or feed them to the piranhas. Love hurts they say, and well I know it!
-
6to stop speaking in 180 characters or less, that we'd never move forward that way. Slowly, I began to put lengthier sentences together when I spoke -some of them even had endings!
-
4The challenge remained unmet for years, as most of the supposed ideas turned out to be phone numbers of MoralEnd's groupies. MoralEnd himself didn't mind all that much, except for
-
6re he kept his Phantom of the Opera mask. Sometimes he would wear it out in public, with only his trademark leopard-print Speedo on, and he'd cruise for sex along the
-
1They fired him after his presentation on impregnating toilet tissue with ghost pepper extract.
-
6"I just feel...sexy" the homeless guy sitting next to me on the Metro said to no one in particular. His hand, surprisingly clean and immaculately groomed, slowly snaked its way
-
5Me and some friends were heading out that weekend to Camp Slaughter Lake to drink some brews and hopefully get laid. When we got there, though, we found that we'd been beaten to
-
1After her first turducken, Emily was a woman obsessed. Suddenly, every meal had to include some poor animal crammed into another. She started small at first, stuffing field mice
-
3He washed ashore, sputtering and shivering in the cold. For as far as he could see, nothing was on the beach save some stray seaweed and the occasional crab. Suddenly he spotted
-
4Matisse and Mondrian came over and started hitting on them - and it was working! With coquetish batting of eyelids Van Gogh and Renoir retired with their new-found beax to the top
-
4nd ignited the thermite charges surrounding the stump. In seconds, the plucky Southern boy was a torch of flames, his fiddle crisping in his hands. "Oops" said the Prince of
-
4huffman wants to sit on my face. Everyone ignored him and called him Gaye under their breath.
-
0could really make use of, that is, if it were still in production, but that's another story. Back to those elves - so where did they get all that fudge? Was it in the tree? Did
-
5to clean out my ears - nobody doesn't like clean ears, after all. That's what Mom used to say, right up until the day we buried her - and after! i can't wait until I bring back
-
3and tossing them like frisbees to the other giant monsters. Mothra was pretty damn good about catching them in flight, and Baby Godzilla
-
5pterodactyl Fergie, but hadn't acheived the effect he had wanted. Fergie, however, was quite smitten with his little invention, and would hump the thing ceaselessly for days,
-
5the Hackaloogey was a trampoline that allowd the victims to get some real height before plunging into the depths of the volcano. Sometimes you'd get a jet of lava from where they
-
4and watched it squirt into the see, lust in her eyes. She'd do that for hours, until sunset at least most days, then shuffle off to her home in the cave under the sea, never to