Finished Folds (441—460)
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6finding FoldingStory on accident while pursuing my napkin folding hobby, but my alien hand is the reason I have 8179 points. Even though I'm usually drunk when I write my folds, my
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3Til her hand hit her iPhone in her right pocket & she heard Siri:"Karla, there is violent commotion immediately adjacent to my location&manwhores in the trunk. You have hit rock bo
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5Th bmb cld nly b dctv8td by sng n algrthm wtht vwls. Btmn nd Rbn cldnt spll, Stvn Hwkng ws bsy and Wlf Bltzr hd trvld 2 Kyrgyzstn. Th Prsdnt txtd hs gd frnd Brc Sprngstn fr hlp.
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5all of a sudden Fred felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Hadn't he said this twice before? Was he wigging out from quitting non-filter Camels cold turkey 41 minutes ago? Clare
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5John Malkovic look-alike, but in reality he was losing Clare because his keyboard was filthy. And so were his fingernails. Just because he was a sonambulist writer didn't excuse
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5his Onychophagia.Then at his filthy keyboard.Fred was a sonambulist writer who consumed massive amounts of dry Cinnamon Toast Crunch while writing. Clare didn't want to be his girl
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4From jail, Lance Armstrong tweeted daily that crop circles were alien messages about the dangers of GMO corn. Determined to save Earth upon his release, he rode his bike to Iowa
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6Dr. Ruth was unaware that when you died in the throes of orgasm, Chris Angel escorted you to Purgatory . Irritated by her accent & sexual candor he vanished at the first rest stop
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3a shemale?" she asked. Dammit! I knew I shoulda watched the Harlem Shake before trying it! My dancing didn't disguise what was in my pants and having it mistaken for a turgid stoat
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6and bought an EPT. Fold 9 realized Fold 8 was just playing a game with her. She was such an idiot falling for his lines! With 4 sec. left til the EPT results and no character left,
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4covered in the kitchen!" said "2% Sal". Fanning out, the rest of the cereal killers boxed in Grape Nuts in the pantry & Kashi in the broom closet. They hadn't anticipated Pop Tart
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2bustle in a hedgerow. As she lay tangled in her petticoats, Dowager Cixi's head was humming. She looked to the west and saw rings of smoke through the trees as the Boxer Rebellion
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5But, like the double-crossing wife in the Joe Montana miracle stain ad, Thor's wife was a Ravens fan. She hit a few Niners with her ball peen hammer of penalties and they lost.
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6but then someone shouted, "Tina, you fat lard!" The llama froze, her Purple Hooter halfway to her mouth. She turned & saw Uncle Rico pointing his beer at her, his football stuffed
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1He'd pass the time on the toilet alphabetically writing bodily functions in crayon on squares of toilet paper. He was stuck on "U" when the bathroom door was suddenly kicked down
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5Like all previous New Year's resolutions, this one had gone to hell in a handbasket, five ways to Friday, quicker than
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4a pot-bellied guy walking on the beach in a speedo. Only it wasn't pretend. LaRonda, it turns out, really was a man with a pot belly and speedo under his/her stylish Calvin Klein
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4myself, I'm even more relevant. And when I, Spike Lee, refer to myself in the third person, I am elevated above Ghandi, Kanye West, Nobel Peace Prize winners & the sexiest man aliv
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4Gollum suddenly focused on the toddler in the high chair at the table next to us and began drooling. When the kid dropped a spoon, Gollum jumped from his Denny's booster chair
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7I double-fisted him in the mouth and continued: On the 7th day of Christmas my true gave to me, 7 lottery tickets, 6 packs of Camels, 5 fifths of JB, 4 concrete blocks, 3 Slim Jims