Finished Folds (561—580)
-
5See Dick get to a combo second/third base when he “accidentally” touches Jane as he reaches over to adjust her drive-in speaker. Oh no! Jane has thrown her soda in Dick’s face! Now
-
2Madam Zooza gazed in her crystal ball for bumper sticker ideas and came up with: “My child was inmate of the month at county jail” “Don’t drink and park. Accidents cause people.”
-
10The 10 travelers woke to find the Garden of Earthly delights was now a hellish wasteland.The Gardener had weed whacked everything except the weeds and there were ten 6’x3’x6’ holes
-
7into a crispy mass of albumin, yolk and shell.One of the king's horses began to lap up Mr. Dumpty's remains, but the king ran it off with his scepter & called for the royal spatula
-
5wintergreen lifesaver and some pocket lint. What would McGyver do?! As the blood seeped across the floor toward her shoes, she remembered she was wearing odor eaters and quickly
-
3wafted the foul odor of decomposition across hall into the classroom."EEEWW-wah!" said Regina, "it *stinks* in here!" Mr. Lemons seized the teachable moment of stench and civics
-
7exactly 180 characters in each of three more lines to finish this, and don't deviate from THE plot!" He was flummoxed. He had no idea what THE plot was.Sweat dripped on the "j" key
-
5any Smith & Wesson handgun she wanted and a lifetime supply of ammunition. Her 50-word revenge essay began: Muhammad Ali once said, “You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.”
-
5Concentrating hard on my two finger typing, I didn’t notice when she silently swooped in until her beak slammed down on the off button. Dang it! I’m going to take typing lessons!
-
5fox, but first I would be sure I should." The interviewer smirked and said, "Would you, could you, here or there?" He now regretted applying for a job as Romney's personal barista
-
3a small outboard motor, rusty Folgers can, lake trout skeletons, a Skoal tin and an unopened marshmallow bag. If Nessie's nest was ever found, they'd see she was an extreme hoarder
-
5It would definitely require at least a 3 pt. turnaround to move the car, maybe up to 7 pts., having to avoid "Homeless Stan’s" cardboard residence, the hazardous waste dumpster,
-
5came up my esophagus onto the country road I was running, and I slipped and broke my leg.I hopped to a nearby farmhouse for help. The farmer took looked at my leg, got his shotgun
-
5But that's just an excuse.I'm pretty self-aware and have no trouble admitting I'm kind of an idiot. Especially when attracted to a square-dancing succubus, so it was my own damn
-
6The line for the new iPad was three blocks long at 5am and people were getting testy. When an old lady tried to get to the bus stop, someone shouted “NO CUTS!” and a riot broke out
-
5$0.50/gallon gas, his first mullet, Alice Cooper concerts, the Susan B. Anthony dollar…but he was in his 50s now. Time to put old memories aside and make new ones, starting with
-
2He decided to make the best of it and began to search the planet for something to use as toothpaste.Suddenly, he heard far off "2001-A Space Odyssey" music and when he investigated
-
1plethora means?” Juan scratched *him*self and spat in the gutter. “El Guapo, I got a degree in Biomechanics at UC San Diego.” “Then why” asked El Guapo, “are you wasting your time
-
5happened til a car careened toward them on the dirt road and screeched to a halt. When the dust settled it was now he, they, shotguns, avocados and a Ford Pinto at the crossroads.
-
5And was defenestrated by a blimp driven by her double.She managed to grab the blimp basket and hung on for dear life as her double slowly blimped her thru the tree tops on 5th Ave.