Finished Folds (701—720)
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3.“Well Dig Dug, you’re going to have to st—say, what’s going on?” he asked, as a humongous tomato rolled into the front yard holding a gigantic boulder. Dig tore off to the garage
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5I couldn't stop myself. Did I like writing terrible folds? Maybe I was just bored. Or depressed. Did I have OCD? Maybe I had an addiction. Or maybe I had BRAIN CANCER! Maybe
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2“And sold the recipe to France where they're makin' gormit bacon candy. You know the whole bacon thing on the computers? Hell, you can thank Jimmy Dean for that,” he finished.
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5. She was beautiful in her Starbucks apron with bedhead hair and wrinkled clothes. His crush could turn to love, except--her 5am breath made it hard to work anywhere near her.
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1laundering money. When they refused to install carbon monoxide detectors in their homes, the President twatted a plea for order (#ohgrowupalready), but the criminal hipsters
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6You talkin’ to ME? You better watch your mouth. Because I can find your IP address right now while you’re writing your folds, trace your location, come pay you a little visit with
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1Some tech-savvy kids hatched a plan to get rid of her. They hacked her phone and posted a profile of her on Grindr. Pretty soon the Nazi Cafeteria Lady missed too many lunch times
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6basement, clutched in the now rigored hand of Grampa, whom Ol' Gran had buried about 6 feet under the tool bench. She had told everybody Grampa had run off with the census taker,
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6In my diary I scribbled a metaphor for life using a pancake: “ingredients thrown together in a small space, beaten violently, flattened over fire.” Why did I associate such negativ
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1they felt goofily evil, like Tim Curry. Tearing wings off flies was just the start of their goofy evilness. Their next wacky, sinister plan was
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11represented FS, wisely chosen by FS founder Noah, because Bob Loblaw's motto was: “why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?” To help Noah pay Loblaw, FS writers
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3<pinch> “Fishsticks!” day in <pinch> “Bob Sagat!” court if it was the last <pinch> “Toothpaste!” thing I do! I swear <pinch> “Boing!” those people <pinch>”Rutabega!” will be <pinc
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4best, really, because three prehensile limps got him a handicap placard, free valet parking at the mall, and first to board privileges on all the airlines.
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3as Jagger later revealed in GQ, “it was a bit like stabbin' beef jerky. I mean, just looka that face! The bloody blade bent and broke off." He tried poisoning Richards, but
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5The Adventure Game Therapy Clinical Trial for People With Anger Management Issues was a stupid idea, but I needed the cash. I knew they were watching as I searched for the lost key
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6The cow had herd it all before, and knew how to remoove it from her mind. After work she put on some smoooth jazz in the cattlac, got a nice decalf Americano and went to a moovie.
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4doodoohead and cootieface.The editor told the toddlers they had to “hold it” til they finished the front page. Since none of them wore diapers anymore, they gravely grabbed crayons
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8One side of Dr. Acula’s storage locker had stuff piled under a tarp.The other was bare, but I could see a faint outline of something in the dust. The guy who worked graveyard shift
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10--nothing! His iHammer pants weren't getting a signal. Maybe the pants had a virus. Hurtling downward, at 15,000 ft. in the air he suddenly thought of how the pants might save him:
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4The Judge cited Mr. Rogers for contempt. He got mad and did his next show about the shortcomings of the US justice system. A youngster named Elena Kagan happened to be watching