Finished Folds (261—280)
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4in the upper rooms of saloon hotels. Elvira was the Lily of the West and the 49er knew he had to woo her back to him. He panned for gold to make her Christmas gift as he thought
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14Right on her you-know-what. "Oh Flat Stanley, I love you, but this relationship will never work." Stan cried. He had finally found his soul mate after all these years but now
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6But no earthly handcuffs or prison bars could keep him contained. He was no mortal. He could walk through walls if he wanted to and often did. He was the devil, after all, and
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9Even the most talented tattoo artist would have a hard time squeezing "morrow" after "Tom" without running into the F of "forever" but he did it. "Suri, do you want one too sweetie
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1balls. I cringed and threw up on my mouth. Doggone it, my fate just happened to pick this moment to walk into my life. She was a tall, cool glass of water and I needed one of those
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1were able to escape during lunch time using the jail guard as a hostage. Tammy and I paid St. Crips a visit he won't soon forget. We managed to rescue the kids but they were in
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4furry, green creature crowed in pain as he rubbed his sore, feathered hiney with his wing. "I shall dominate as your dictator!" The ASU devil cackled evilly, his eyebrows wiggling
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2across the sky. A voice boomed down from Heaven like thunder. "Thou art a bad boy!" I shivered as the children in skeleton costumes giggled and tied me to a tree. They left me
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5fruit salad and began to throw up all over his tuxedo. His beautiful bride tried to comfort him but his wedding day was purely ruined by fecal matter. His poop detecting power was
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4and paralyzed from the waist down. I wasn't just crying about the lack of feeling in my toe... My tears were also for the lack of pleasure when my wife and I got jiggy with it.
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4We kicked up the dirt as we drove off into the sunset, just two best friends, enjoying our God-given right to take our bikes off-road and open the throttle.
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4school play. My favorite memory of that night was parting the red sea and watching the class bully get soaked because Miss Munchins pulled the rope too hard. 20 years later
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9that no one actually reads because they don't want to unravel the cute origami designs. That's how I got an A+ on my manatee thesis which just said the word manatee about 6,000
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4farmer Bob didn't want to cut off his balls so instead he cut off Scampy the Ram's and made Donbalaan, À la carte. Pampy sighed. "Phew!" He could still have little calves. But
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6e thoughts with food? Every time I get depressed and moody I feel poetic and then for some reason my poetry always involves some type of food. Like the time I got suicidal and
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5loo and drop some dookie, so I'll be right back. Hold that thought! Oh, could you hold my knife, please, while I zip down my pants? And my gun, too. Thanks. Ahhhhh! Relief!"
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3a man who'd been dead for four days by telling him that after he died, his wife up and married his son. He woke up ripping mad and ready to kill. Bill was still in a coma, so she
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2just tweeted back, "How long do you have to be ignorant before you start experiencing bliss?"
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3followed her around like ladies in waiting. "Yes, I know decency," answer V4, "and you know none." V8 stumbled back in shock. "I am utterly appalled! No one speaks to me with such
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3was in the kitchen. I had to create a diversion to distract him, somehow get the chip in his armpit, and then Pinocchio would be all mine to control. While his batteries charged