me to witness their day of family fun. He saw me eyeing the hatchet in his hand. He looked at the hatchet. He brought it up as if seeing it for the first time. WTF, his face said.

I'm back in that position of having to song and dance you to get a damn bottle of fucking water! I know you're behind this two mirror, watching. With your beady little eyes still

Have the washed wash the unwashed until there are no unwashed.

"Sure thing Boss," he said and shot the boss. The Godbrother smacked the gumba. "He wasn't giving you the job to kill him. Your job was to tell the president that he was fat." Unco

"Will I at least get the full month of sex? Do toads do that too? So I'm not a toad princess? Fucroaaaak. OMG, I'm croaking!" Mr. Toad looked at his new wife, formerly a human, and

the same thing: young, highly indoctrinated Kool-Aid drinkers. Pretty much the same way their propaganda gal was portraying this side. The Faux News talking head threw in red meat.

A wild swell made the ship yawl below and cast me into the maul of the storm. If not for that last scupper I would be resting in Davy's Locker. Alas, my hook caught that last scup.

Just in case I want to nibble on something, he told himself. The Just in Case ploy. Tell me Sam, might the reason you're famished be because you're trying to fit into those pants?

I couldn't come to terms with my constantly waking up from one nightmare to find myself in another nightmare where I just woke up from a nightmare into this nightmare. Look, filly.

train and bus depots, subway stations, and malls? Bojangles types who never once in their miserable lives rested naked under a tanning light with nothing more than a cell phone

Preparing for work was more work than he was willing to work out in his mind. He realized it wasn’t working; it was making him late for work.

I was incognito, sipping mojito, chomping Dorito, sitting on seat…oh.

It didn't take a phone sanitizer to tell me that I wasn't a phone sanitizer for me to realize that i wasn't a phone sanitizer and i didn't know why. Does that replace shoe shiners?

his Mercury in retrograde. The chicken's blood said the same thing. After the three ghosts had shown Trump what they showed him, the ugly Future got stronger, more defined. Uglier.

I wonder why nobody ever runs the Batmobile's plate through the computer to find out who it is registered to. The Batmobile also has a secret identity. It is really a 1966 Datsun.

She lived on the fringe now. Not quite incognito but close enough for you to get the picture. She kept to herself out on that island. She only allowed the gardener out there. Only

Alas, a lass named Succotash, overladen with sass, falls for the young Prince Sassafras. The very same that had no class or pizzaz when we saw him last. The spleen wants what the

personal Mandela effect event: Some people remember the scandal when Mandela was selling mandalas to Mendelev and Mondrian upstarts inside madrasas claiming to be mi casas. A lass

We had finally made a place for Archimedes to stand while wielding his lever to move the whole world and there was no sign of Archimedes. He'd last been seen with Zeno & his sort.

I would be hard pressed to pick a winner as least horrible option between the two. In the first I looked forward to being eviscerated when it went viral. Wiping out the western