...Maybe? Another look at the scattered archives might’ve sparked a few thoughts — perhaps ‘Janitor Fists Boss Until Prolapse’ had some sort of artistic or intellectual merit

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

She walked into the pitch meeting with Solange the puppet Orange. The suits at Tropicana were cool to the idea. She got flustered. She was losing them. Then Solange spoke up. Heads

wearing I bought at Goodwill for $1. But after we fumigate it and wash it we'll have it on the sales floor with a Mashall's price of $11.99." St. Pooter wasn"t impressed. "Dollar

a biplane's propellers slowly, deliberately. I knew then that she was having some feelings about moving back to Heck. I hadn't considered the sexuality of planes before. Was that

the Royal Canadian Mounties arrested me for being drunk and disorderly; when, in fact, I had forced a Siamese cat on Burton Cummings, at gun point. The ASPCA Officers cuffed me and

created meat rations, so Master Splinter was counting on his restaurant's clientele to think it was just jargon on menu entrees such as Grub au Jus. (It was actually grubs.) Or

proper acting technique?!" thundered Scorsese at the cowering shark,"We don't pay you to chat the actors up, we pay you to CHEW them up!" The chastened shark bared its teeth at me

could easily contact me after the smog and rain clears in forty-five years, or so. In the meantime, I’ll dream about the Satellite of Love; every night, I’ll pray for its return.

He then engaged the four grannies in a laborious flashback to his time panning for ice in the Martian boonies. Then he was hit by a golf cart going at 2 kph. WHY ARE YOU MEOWING

scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked

The goat planet was dominated by the technologically advanced Nan civilization who had been on the cusp of space travel when the monkeys in spaceships appeared in orbit above them.

ripped the outhouse off its feet, and the ferocious high-speed projectile Booboo spawned was enough to ignite the fuel to the speeding car, which resulted in another explosion. "Uh

of society howled their outrage for the discourteous gesture I made to whet the Craving. The Craving was the government body that catalogued every foul search on the Interwebs.

-round the ho, ho, ho' was a hit with the tongs. Not so much with the Fu Manchu. Which is why 'cock-around the ho, ho, ho" wasn't allowed in his new haunted castle. Gourmet ghosts

"Well, I think it comes down to how much of a bitch you want to come off as on your first day at a new job," her stylist suggested over Magnum bars. She poured ouzo from another mo

n enormous amount of bitcoin; enough for Dr. Goodfeel to take Nurse Ratched for a ride on his hobbyhorse, get her to invest in Poxagone, give the Poxariffic some free advertising.

and it was a perilous state to be in, yet she found herself laughing, throwing her arms in the air. Fern stared at Julia, knowing what little care she had was lost to the winds.

up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She

Bobby had a timetable worked out for when he took over dominion of the dark side. Cthulhu & the other Old Ones had let the survivors turn the world against them while they slept.