the voluminous silouette. So I followed the Puffy Pantalooneers around with my head hung in slight shame. I hoped no one would notice how I didn't fit in. My jeggings were embarras

a gateway to the stairway to Heaven leading directly to Dimensional Reality 1371,

Upset at not having won Prom Queen she had dropped acid and fell into Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus.

shook his head. "Was I dreaming? No, this really happened..." The CiC stood dazed and confused, realizing all the wrongs that needed to be righted. Sometimes a good knocking works.

cism wasn't something to be taken lightly. The dog survived last time, had a demon taken hold of it again? Thank goodness for mothers. When you need a good exorcism, call your mom.

"Meet me at Burger Town and I'll show you what Ascension is all about." But it wasn't the scent of Magick that The Cowboy gave off, only the scent of ranch dressing, which

proper acting technique?!" thundered Scorsese at the cowering shark,"We don't pay you to chat the actors up, we pay you to CHEW them up!" The chastened shark bared its teeth at me

...Maybe? Another look at the scattered archives might’ve sparked a few thoughts — perhaps ‘Janitor Fists Boss Until Prolapse’ had some sort of artistic or intellectual merit

scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked

He then engaged the four grannies in a laborious flashback to his time panning for ice in the Martian boonies. Then he was hit by a golf cart going at 2 kph. WHY ARE YOU MEOWING

a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.

wearing I bought at Goodwill for $1. But after we fumigate it and wash it we'll have it on the sales floor with a Mashall's price of $11.99." St. Pooter wasn"t impressed. "Dollar

What was important was that Glint Westrock was dead. He'd been poisoned by the future. Det. Manatee could see future residue on Glint's lips. "The question is did he die now or in

the Royal Canadian Mounties arrested me for being drunk and disorderly; when, in fact, I had forced a Siamese cat on Burton Cummings, at gun point. The ASPCA Officers cuffed me and

ripped the outhouse off its feet, and the ferocious high-speed projectile Booboo spawned was enough to ignite the fuel to the speeding car, which resulted in another explosion. "Uh

She walked into the pitch meeting with Solange the puppet Orange. The suits at Tropicana were cool to the idea. She got flustered. She was losing them. Then Solange spoke up. Heads

Bobby had a timetable worked out for when he took over dominion of the dark side. Cthulhu & the other Old Ones had let the survivors turn the world against them while they slept.

could easily contact me after the smog and rain clears in forty-five years, or so. In the meantime, I’ll dream about the Satellite of Love; every night, I’ll pray for its return.

and it was a perilous state to be in, yet she found herself laughing, throwing her arms in the air. Fern stared at Julia, knowing what little care she had was lost to the winds.

up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She