snapped."That's it,dad.Re-Education time!"I strapped a 40" tv to his head & made him watch Jerry Seinfeld routines for 10h.After the cleansing,I fed him quality:C.K.,Carlin,etc.

lifted off a dead priestess, & gave them to ShortRound, as the sign really read: "Whom stolen property shall be found upon, will fall prey to the Whoopie Monster". "Thanks, Indy!"

Her favourite stores closing all at once. One was giving away everything, so she took three boxes home in her car. The other was too crowded to get at the dress she wanted for ages

Which translates as: Sr. Keeble gives me a wah-wah every time he rants about the need to defend oneself against the phantoms and zombies, but I know he is correct. Sigh. Where to

Start out this way. All sorts of strange events happened and I became an artist and actor. I was shell shocked and thought I was Martian at times. I still do, but less frequently.

The house was shaking, then her fiancé believed her. It was indeed an earthquake. They sat there having coffee, then the shaking stopped. It was not their imagination! Next thing,

Dress like the purple prince, and do a purple rain dance when needed. Remember the native American rituals when creating your own rain dance. 2) hire minions and practise dancing

Please dance with me to the last waltz?" He said, "Of course!" It was the last waltz, because the place blew up but we survivec to Global Economic Crisis

For all she knew, it could have been. After all, nowadays retailers start putting out holiday items in July! It got her mind off the humid, damp weather. It was going to rain soon.

He worked out some two hours a day. His body resembled a gorilla as he made his protein drink. Polly could not keep enough Gatorade on hand, and she would not touch that stuff.

Er. I was at the Maison Michelle restaurant with friends, and I ordered coq au vin. That was my intiation into the Reservation on the Astral Plane. That was long ago! Now that

But, deep down somewhere, I was proud of him. For him. Deep down, I cared about him. That's what always made it so hard for me to hurt and dominate my sub, Boris Pochenko.

I browsed through the available programmes and chose one about the royal family of Exurbia. His royal highness King Quinn had three children and a beautiful wife, the onion queen.

the highlight of my holiday and though classical music wasn't quite my preference, I figured

one of them, for some reason. She had a phobia of trampolines since childhood. Her psychiatrist told her to stay off them and let him know when she felt like she was on one.

Weird Al Yankovic sang "Foil" and everyone laughed. Some of it sounded like he shopped at whole foods, where recycling was a religion. The herbal tea was organic. Weird Al was

These demons were known to have an insatiable appetite for self destruction. That was a blessing in disguise. The penguins knew that and bought arsenic to put in their food. It had

once I've recovered from the salmonella & my other toes grow back to tick off other bucket list items, like attending an electric chair execution, perform a duet with Katy Perry,

then again OVER a bridge. But Watch out, there are MORE rivers than bridges. 'Im the map! I'm the map! I'M THE MAAAP!!!" I stared at the map. What am I going to do with this shitty

That I no longer wanted to hear it. It was like that song on the radio I never wanted to hear again. This claptrap about why we need another war is total rubbish.