H Wandy Wing could do. Unless he hired helicopters to lift up buildings and rearrange them in a more symmetrical way ala Kandy Krush. The judge wasn't impressed but I liked her wig

Of directors had to make a decision as to who could become a clone of Justin Timberlake and who couldn't. They turned me down. I was mortified. They offered me Bieber instead.

Order. Its the turning inside out to freak out the paying guests that we mind. At least wait until they've paid next time! Yes we know you threw a burning bed at one

Maybe humanity has no whole, like it has no substance, no flair. It acts like an onion, but is as hollow as a chocolate egg. A stripping of the skin is a powerful metaphor

Tightening his hieblrdieblr in case of toothy re-entry. The Ghlagahag government would soon evacuate th area and go about destroying the evidence. It raised its third middle finger

I gazed at him thoughtfully. No, he cannot know about the torch. "We have a vermin problem here." I began. "Reckon a taxidermist could conjure up something pretty for the wall-hole

His many folds. These were no ordinary insects. These were the carnivorous telepathic insects from regions unknown. He held his head and screamed as their insane messages began

and it dropped back up again, startling me a bit. I asked what he was writing. He showed me the word moon writ over and over again. I smashed the pad over his head, took the segway

I was starting to think you bits of code that are doing this to me had forgotten me after only 3.32 nanoseconds. Don't worry bits, I 'm going to introduce you to the other meaning

Dusty Springfield reminds me I haven't worked up a real playlist in forever, give or take an eternity here and/or there; and then. And then do it all over again to hear you laugh.

, I might have... HEY! Don't touch me there! That is off-limits, d'ya hear?! Stop it now (giggle). I said (giggle guffaw) STOP! You...heheee...hahahahaa...started this, now you

The lgkakhieblr were treated the same as the Zaiss Apes who emerged from Cdr. Taylor's spacecraft without him. !After a makeover they will be asked about The Equal Rights Amendment

built a makeshift laser beam and prepared to fire it at Roadrunner. Roadrunner saw the laser and began to pick up speed, however, nothing is faster than the speed of light.

In conclusion, I continued, you may or may not agree with the foregoing argument. I appreciate that is the case. Yet I am compelled to make this offer by my last shred of humanity.

at rest. "Mrs. Smith," I whispered for some reason, "please excuse me." Swiftly slinging her over my shoulder, I made my way out the front door. Granny was surprisingly heavy for a

the heart, and cholesterol is winning. I have pastrami hidden in the garage and brie cheese taped to the top of the fridge where my tall wife Splenda can't see it. Fat builds up in

Feet, why not put them where the heads and hearts should do? Does the ribcage not lend itself to the phalluses of two dozen men? Eyes? I know a bag or two that would fit snugly

They were indeed the lions that devoured both dragon and child. All Satan had to do was send a pretty woman into a circle of men and take the rest of the day off, the sounds of red

Damnation. Now I do too. I was avoiding this one since I knew it was a reply to my previous post. It keeps coming up. Even when I'm not looking at it, I can see it. Mustard & eggs.

not to fret though, I was done with the paper and fed it to embers at my feet. The night was being tedious to me. The dry blood in my veins almost pulsed when I heard a clink clink