someone had filtered me out of Jane's memory like in that episode of Black Mirror. Someone paid lots of money. It wasn't that she couldn't see me. She called the police the 3 times

POTUS either. Anyway, while snorkeling I got stung by a jellyfish—right on the mouth. So I’m supposed to pee on the sting? No way. While my lips and cheeks swelled, I had to find

while individual #2, also you, is disguised as a police officer on a horse doing crowd control. You or individual #5, 6, or pi, took yourself too seriously and deserved the smack

rnbread I ever ate was at another diner, one I DIDN’T sue. This was moist & had no dung beetles inside. Yessir, once the Dept of Health reopened the place, the eatin’ was great. I

made stills out of their toilet tanks. Even with Uncle Jessie clogging it up daily. We keep warning him of the fines and fumes but he doesn't want to hear that. The French au paire

made great little bongos (empty the soup first, of course). Another neat makeshift musical instrument was to snap a fireman’s suspenders (if the fireman didn’t mind, that is). All

that I ever served under Admiral E.J. Camacho of Space Patrol, although she was still a captain at the time. Obviously the 33rd Baran hadn't expected such a vehement blood purge.

broke the bicameral's back. Once upon a time, they say, there used to be these two warring clans, the reds and the blues. They could have been each other but they chose otherwise.

Them, not so much. That is the way it goes out here on the road. Even if he'd been here a decade & change, he'd be leaving again. Soon. He'd been in too many heartbreaking goodbyes

again." I guess the director heard me. She whipped around and looking straight at me asked everyone who had said that. Everybody pointed at me. They were pissed. Her I understood,

offense intended. I'm just quoting the defendant. I would like to point out that you all saw the quotation marks there just so that you could say you didn't. You did. Sentient rubb

As a communication device, you just have to give a hand to the trusty old can and twine "phone". If they tied you into the chat determined if you were Liked, Hot, or slide right.

Shuffled off my mortal coil by morning, I guess. I was looking cute there for a moment to absolutely no one but my Dorian Gray mirror. She didn't like me much or even a little. She

It was back there. Let there not be a question about that. It was back there. My wife says it was a White Face Fleece DaReddmann kind of face. I knew exactly which she meant and I

That slipped by. Most probably didn't notice until I just mentioned it. They went back to look at what I meant but each moment piled on each moment it wasn't & vice versa, versa vi

oody Wood Show on my childhood. I had reason to believe that Buffalo Bob and Buffalo Bill were related to barbeque sauce but I couldn't nail it down. "Get wings," the waiter insult

I'm not exactly lying but they are not coming. That is a pipe dream and if I had a pipe I would show you. It has something to do with changing the force along a vertical, not horiz

For my part. Thank you. I don't know how it is that I continue to be in your good graces after the dullard I've become. The parts of me that are missing are coming in, through, & b

We can't see things with our old eyes now. We have to use the new eyes that we got on discount at the Clearance Bin & Consignment Shop on Cumberland & University. Half the vision

It is strange that at the moment that I feel renewed I am also at my most vulnerable. I don't know what is so strange about that. Rebirth is just that. We've got to learn to walk.