He doddered into the kitchen on his walker & began haranguing his son & daughter-in-law about CERNs & WIMPs in the wrong place. The next day he was sent to Sunnyville Home for Old

Fear was an old friend to me, like old leather. It was -- in no uncertain terms, a comfort to have at my side. That slight jolt of fear ever keeping me on edge, keeping me alive.

played harpsichords and sang beautiful harmonies. This infuriated the Furies, for they couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. The Graces gracefully intervened

unwanted advances from overly hormonal teenaged boys. They lean across the counter, hoping for more than just one "transaction," and I hit them with my garlic breath. All in all

But I have more important things on my mind. I don't even spare Basil a second glance as I sling my bag over my shoulder and head out the front door to face the challenge ahead.

She was sultry. There was a train. She was suddenly beside me pouring water over the spoon of sugar & into the absinthe below. "Should we talk about moral redemption again Sweety?"

Convicted rapist D.J. Tobias was given a job as a janitor at an all girl's boarding school. A convicted rapist, D.J. Tobias. He makes out. Now you know the rest of the story.

& again, what evil could they be preparing to unleash upon Mankind on that private planet. Not even Custer, at first, had been able to penetrate their orbit wide security. We owe

Because I have decided, for you, that you have been decided for. You might try to decide otherwise, but I've already decided you won't. Your view of reality is suspect which is how

kills us all. So we threw ParamaBot out on the streets, where it changed its name to PariahBot and wept oil tears at passers-by and then stole their credit card information.

A Chicken McNugget dipped in he sauce intrigued her and she almost gave up her phone number but decided she could dip her own McNugget in he sauce on her schedule, not his. Besides

Herb Rochet, Director of NASA, read the letter once more. It was obvious this kid was woefully unqualified to work at NASA however the organization had lost truly original ideas in

I want to be standing out there on the shores, waiting for the call. I want to be ready to dive into the clear water and swim to the horizon, as the siren sounds. I want to

yen, pesos, doubloons, euros, francs, lira, ruble, rupee, Monopoly money or firstborn children but they nonetheless accepted the content of what he was saying. Yes, walruses deserv

" I shyly scooted 'The Shotgun Jokebook', which I had authored, back into my backpack after my friend made that remark. I would need to find a different beta reader.

, never be President of the United States. "Uh, Sir, " Bannon interjected, "His name is Paul Ryan--NOT Eddie Munster." "Come on, Steve," the POTUS cried, "look at the pointed ears

Penis gun out for further inturption & we'll see how really scary we can make it", he replied. Tim looked at him him, tempted to interrupt the inturption but not willing to usurp

"Bad Drogon!" Daenerys yelled. Her pet eased a stomach cramp, pouring gallons of steaming poop onto Tycho Nestoris' head miles below. Looks like no loan for her new dragon stables.

& Almost Nothing There bikinis the trio made a living of getting stoned, finding & then bashing the zombies that they found. The show had taken over Fox News & was close to spreadi

In the voice of another voice voicing it's concern that voicing a concern might be concerning should it be voiced where those concerned might find reason to be concerned at all the